Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tiger Woods Can't Be Your Jesus

And now the big story: Tiger Woods and his 3 women on the side. All young with old faces. All white. All ready to spill the beans. Spilling the beans, in fact.

There are so many angles to cover with this story, but the one that says Tiger deceived us should NOT be one. Tiger may have deceived his wife and his family but he didn’t deceive the public. Tiger never told us he was perfect. In fact, over his decade long career he hasn’t told us anything other than when he married and had his kids. He spoke about his father’s cancer and death also, but that's it. Tiger really only opened up about golf. He wore crisp shirts. He smiled that Colgate smile in advertisements. He worked with the youth. He sent out family Christmas cards. He played near perfect games. But he never ever told us or led us to believe he was perfect. Basically, he just lived his life, did his job, and kept his business to himself. Those who worshipped him and thought could do no moral wrong must have ignored his top pals – Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan. Birds of a feather…

The public craves some human idol who resists temptations, always does the right thing, and looks perfect. The public wants to see that it is possible for a human being to achieve such greatness. Guess what? It aint. Those people who need this kind of idol might need to seek Jesus. Tiger Woods shouldn't have the ability to let us down. Whether it’s cheating, lying, stealing, doping, sneaking, or molesting – everybody’s dealing with something. (It's mind blowing that the (white) public thought this man was perfection. WE knew he had issues when he married the whitest of the white.:-))

Does this mean that Tiger gets a pass? Most definitely not. I could say that his personal life has nothing to do with his professional life, but at this point it does. He just missed a golf tournament and he may miss others due to injury or not wanting to face the journalists who’ll be on their tip toes shouting out questions that have nothing to do with the sport. And if he does show up, his mind might be too pre-occupied to play a good game. Heck, he’s had his worse year so far. Now we may know why. For the simple fact that his b.s. is interfering with his game, Tiger Woods doesn’t get a pass.

I know Tiger’s wife is hurt and fighting mad. Isn’t it ironic that she tried to kill him with a golf club? LOL Oh yeah, I think she tried to kill him. She swang at his face; got his mouth. She tried to finish the job, but a drugged up Tiger jumped in the Escalade and burned out (good thing he's not in Nascar). Mrs. Woods ran down the street after him, busting out both back windows like a G! She had it in her mind to maim or kill her cheating husband. I guess she came to her senses after he wrecked though. Lucky for the both of them because, otherwise, the headlines would have read, “Elin Woods Arrested for Killing Golf Legend!"

What do I think his wife should do? Off the cuff, I say take your money and self-esteem and RUUUUUN girlfriend! What kind of Nordic woman does he take you for?! A 31 month affair?!?! Multiple women?!? And these are just the women who are skanky enough to admit to the affair. What about the discreet women he fooled around with?

BUT, I don’t know the Woods' family life. I don’t know their personal reality. I don’t know if Elin got buck wild because she had no idea he’d ever had an affair or if she was just fed up with the latest affair. I don’t know if he started the affairs after his dad died. Maybe there's some missing void that he’s trying to fill with random women in Las Vegas? I don’t know if his wife is a shrew who doesn’t even like sex or if she’s putting it down. Not that that’s an excuse. I know of a woman who was the freakiest of the freaks for her husband and he still traveled the globe in search of new coochie on a regular basis. Well, that’s an exaggeration. He traveled throughout Texas to meet women in small towns. Still, she couldn’t keep him in Houston, Texas.

Tiger Woods’ story is a familiar one. It happens all day everyday. I can’t imagine how many reporters and friends were on camera condemning Tiger Woods one minute and texting their mistresses the next. Get it together men. Especially the ones who have so much to lose.

Keyshia Cole: Pregnant and Happy...For Now

1 - Keyshia Cole falls crazy in love (again).
2 - She packs her bags and chunks the deuce to ATL. Cleveland bound. Shuts out family.
3 - She gets pregnant. (or maybe this is #2?)

*we’re at the 4 month mark now*

4 - She passes out turkeys for Thanksgiving with a dazed and bamboozled looking Daniel Gibson. You can see his legal name below on Keyshia’s shoulder. 8X10. Where’s Boobie’s tat? Where is it Boobie???

Keyshia’s looking happier than Chris Brown before it all fell down. Cheesing, rubbing her dip it low stomach, looking like you couldn’t tell her not a damn thang about Boobie. LOL

I’m not mad at Keyshia. She’s 28 and can afford her kid with ease. But I am kind of sad for her. Maybe it’s premature and negative to think this way, but WHOA! Ya boy is 23. Weren’t you on bended knee in front of Jeezy this time last year? Keyshia wants to be married; she’s said it a few times now. Is this the best route to matrimony? A tat, moving to Cleveland, and a baby? All in 8 months? Daaaang, slow down homie. It takes at least 4 seasons to get to know a man.

Prepare for the real talk which some may construe as hate…

First off, I knew Keyshia was somewhere getting pregnant for Boobie. That fertility is in her blood…she couldn’t resist the urge to see what this whole parenting/baby mama thing is about. If it doesn’t work out with Boobie, Keyshia will be on her Neffe little way. She’ll probably love being a parent. And do it again and again (Erykah Badu, Neffe, Frankie). She might be the Tiny to his T.I.P...we might never get another CD from Ms. Cole. Of course, she could go all Anita Baker on us and get married and raise a family. But, nah, I smell a Neffeteria.

Click here to listen to Keyshia and Gucci Mane’s new song “Bad Bad Bad”. God how I wish this was Keyshia’s song with no Gucci.