Saturday, January 31, 2009

Who Is Sasha Fierce?

I'm not ready to comment on this just yet (if ever), as I'm still doing my research. I am re-examining my severe Stan-level love for Bey, though.

Grab some coffee, cocoa, cigarette, soda, tea, whatever... just get comfortable and settle in to read this:

Who is Sasha Fierce?


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Random Trina Thought

I just listened to a lot of Keyshia Cole tonight, and this was one of the songs in rotation. As ghetto as Keyshia may look sometimes, she can really sing - soft, strong, whatever. (At least she can sing in the studio...?) Anyway. Here Keyshia is, sounding all soft and womanly, just coasting on the track... and Trina jumps on sounding like Lil Boosie. I'm pissed!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"Not Easily Broken" - Movie Review

Can I take a minute to address Taraji P. Henson?!

This fabulous and energetic actress has been on my radar since I first heard, “You been effing around, Jody?" lol I knew she could be ghetto, knew she could be vulnerable, knew she could play any age (Benjamin Button), but she pulls off bourgie, mean, and fragile in "Not Easily Broken". I don't see how she can go much longer without an Academy Award.

Not Easily Broken, based on T.D. Jakes' novel by the same name, is a realistic and gripping ride through a troubled marriage. There are a few rough spots in Not Easily Broken, but the actors so effortlessly bring the characters to life that the bad is barely noticeable.

Dave (Morris Chestnut) and Clarice’s (Taraji P. Henson) marriage finds itself on shaky ground 10 years in. Dave’s dreams of becoming a pro baseball player are dashed at the start of the marriage and he ends up owning a construction business. Dave and Clarice have a nice crib, but Clarice (and her mother) make sure Dave knows their lifestyle is due to Clarice’s fat real estate checks.

At one point she even pinches her fine man’s waist and tells him he might need to “hit the hoops”. (Can't say I haven't said the same thing to my husband!) Then, she doesn’t want kids yet because of her career. Of course, Dave wants kids and he substitutes fatherhood with ‘round-the-clock little league coaching.

Jennifer Lewis plays Mama Clark, Clarice’s mother. She does a fine job as the typical busy body mother-in-law and I wanted to slap her a few times myself. After Clarice has a bad car accident during a fight with Dave, Mama Clark moves in to help with her daughter's rehabilitation; things only go from bad to worse.

Between his mother-in-law and Clarice, Dave can’t catch a break and he's definitely not being heard. Naturally, he finds an understanding, friendly ear with his wife’s white physical therapist. I won’t ruin the rest of the movie for you, but suffice to say Ms. Clarice comes to her senses quicker than Fantasia can break a sweat.

Kevin Hart plays Dave’s friend, Tree. He bought the comic relief for sure.

Interesting, real-life, real situation, well written, superbly acted film.

I give it a B.

Just a throwback Taraji scene...

"Push" @ The Sundance Film Festival

I first heard about this film while listening to the Monique Show which I LOVE. I'm not normally drawn to any kind of movie that includes abuse, rape, or generally any real life violence against women. But when I heard that Mo'Nique was in it -- playing an abusive mother to her daughter! -- I had to investigate. I also hear Mariah does an outstanding job in the film. Yes, Mariah. Glitter can't live on forever...

With sheer audacity and utter authenticity, director Lee Daniels tackles Push: Based on the Novel by Sapphire and creates an unforgettable film that sets a new standard for cinema of its kind.

Precious Jones (Gabourey Sidibe) is a high-school girl with nothing working in her favor. She is pregnant with her father’s child—for the second time. She can’t read or write, and her schoolmates tease her for being fat. Her home life is a horror, ruled by a mother (Mo’Nique) who keeps her imprisoned both emotionally and physically. Precious’s instincts tell her one thing: if she’s ever going to break from the chains of ignorance, she will have to dig deeply into her own resources.

Don’t be misled—Push is not a film wallowing in the stillness of depression; instead, it vibrates with the kind of energy derived only from anger and hope. The entire cast are amazing; they carry out a firestorm of raw emotion. Daniels has drawn from them inimitable performances that will rivet you to your seat and leave you too shocked to breathe. If you passed Precious on the street, you probably wouldn’t notice her. But when her story is revealed, as Daniels does in this courageous film, you are left with an indelible image of a young woman who—with creativity, humor, and ferocity—finds the strength to turn her life around.

Gabourey Sidibe
Paula Patton
Mariah Carey
Sherri Shepherd
Lenny Kravitz

Audition Clip below: I couldn't find a movie clip.

Fantasia Honors Patti Labelle in Song

She did that. I don't get down with all the hollering, but I'd have to say that Fantasia sang a very difficult song QUITE well. And Ms. Patti thoroughly enjoyed it. I love Fanny. I don't think she's anywhere NEAR her full potential yet.

Spotted at Necole Bitchie

Rocko Goes to Jail for Alleged Assault

Atlanta rapper Rocko has been sentenced to 48 hours in prison after he pleaded no contest to striking a woman during an altercation in February of 2007. Rocko pleaded no contest to battery charges during the incident, in which he struck the woman, causing injuries and contusions to her face and eyes.

Rocko, born Rodney Hill Jr., is engaged to R&B singer Monica and the couple have two children together. The rapper is the CEO of Rocky Road Records and released his debut album Self Made through a distribution deal with So So Def/Island Urban. Rocko, who has also worked with artists like Hitman Sammy Sam, Young Dro and Dem Franchize Boyz, hit big with his own single "Umma Do Me." He must also serve 12 months probation and complete an unspecified amount of community service, as reported by Spotted at Livesteez.

Click here to read Rocko's side, according to SandraRose:

"I got the receipts from where I paid for the whole thing and she's sitting in my seat! She tried to disrespect me [and] I said, 'look, that's not even called for. Could you just slide over a little bit?' I'm in my space which I paid for, minding my own business and she grabbed my glasses which I paid for and crushed them to pieces! When I come out I don't come out to start trouble. I'm not like these other guys."

Referring to his accuser, Rocko said, "She tried to see who she could see [and] meet who she could meet. Matter of fact, the police told me that someone said she was trying to go into my pockets," he said. "All I know is she grabbed my $2000 Cartier glasses and crushed them to pieces. I didn't hit her. My entourage - there was a lot of us - all I know is, I saw security throw her out. That's all I remember."

In response to the accusation that he punched his accuser, Rocko said, "Of course she's going to say that because she sees dollar signs! I know I didn't hit her. If Monica wasn't already in the back, she probably would say Monica hit her." Monica also seconded that saying, "I would be the one more likely to hit anybody than Rocko." Monica disputed the young lady's account saying, "I have experience with this man for the past 6 years. He would have to have a total out-of-boy experience to punch out a woman!" Monica also stressed that she has never been punched or assaulted by Rocko.

I also spoke with an inside source independently of both Rocko and Monica. My source has provided me with good info in the past and his credibility is solid. He also had a VIP booth and has no reason to lie about what he saw. His exact words were, "how could he punch her? There were too many people around. She was running off at the mouth in VIP and club security put her out." My source was adamant that Rocko did not hit the accuser. As for Monica making references to carrying a gun in her purse. That's not in Monica's character to say that especially with the police standing right there.

The young lady definitely sustained an injury to her eye, but there is no corroborating evidence that Rocko was the cause of her injuries. If I knew Rocko to be a hooligan in the clubs I would say there's a possibility, but I've never witnessed that.

Ok, all of that is well and good, but why plead no contest? No contest = guilty.

I haven’t "known this man for 6 years", so I can’t say if he hit the broad or not. I do know, however, that you don’t have to give a woman a black eye to get her out of your face.

And Monica, I love you, and I know you got the red hair and the sleeve on your arm (tat)...lotta wild and crazy ghetto stuff going on.... but I do not see you hitting anybody. I can see Monica talking to all parties involved in an effort to diffuse the problem, but just walk up and hit a B? Naaaah. LOL

Kanye Wesssssst and Friendsssssss

Interesting crew there, Kanye.

I'm reeeally trying not to be too judgemental in 2009, but aw hell, how many straight men have gay crews? Not that there's anything wrong, per say with being gay (only you and God know how He made you), but man... you gonna do it like this Kanye? And your new alias is Martin Louis The King, Jr.? Who changes their name when they are born with a name like KANYE? You already have a unique, celebrity-worthy name, man!

I'll give Kanye a pass because he's probably still grieving. He's really alone in the world now, just trying to make it and I sure hope he comes out okay. As arrogant as Kanye can be, it's hard not to feel for him and most of the time his music is jammin, so...

I wish he liked women so he could get a good one by his side.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Crazy Lil Wayne Interview

I don't know how I missed this one.
How do you keep track of ideas?
The good thing about that is that, thank God, I’m actually infatuated and in love with what I do, therefore I am what I do. So I never have to forget because I never have to remember, I just am. I don’t need to write stuff down.

What about your songs. You never write them down?
I just say it. Say it when it gets in my head, the beat. Whatever comes in my mind at that moment.

So it’s always spontaneous?
Of course. I believe anything other than that—then why go buy it? Then you could do it, she could do it.

I couldn’t do it even if I wrote it down.
But you could read what’s on the paper, right? So basically anybody that could read could recite it. That takes something away from it. But if I walk up to a guy and say “Rap for me,” he’s going to say something. His characteristics or whatever. I’m going to get what I love about him, just from his presence. That’s why you never saw me rap no TV shows. Other rappers be having to rap after an interview. So can you spit something for us? They never ask me to do that because the interview is so compelling that they actually got Lil Wayne.

I always tell somebody that’s why I am good, that’s why I’m okay, because I’m being me, I’m doing me. Now the day I gotta write stuff down—no one can believe what’s written down.

Perfect example: If I was a bum and I told you I had a mansion around the corner and three Bentleys and twenty-eight bitches in my house butt naked waiting for me, you wouldn’t believe me. I’d say you stink, say Get out my face, give him $100, and say Get the fuck.

But if there was a book that said, there was this bum with a mansion with twenty bitches in it, you’ll try to use it and put it toward real life. That’s why I don’t write nothing down. That’s why I don’t believe the Bible, nothing that’s written, because nothing that’s written is to be believed. Full story here.
When he comes out of this long stupor, Wayne's gonna be #1 - shocked at all the ink on his body and #2 - shocked at all the craaaazy things he's said. As per usual, I blame Baby.

Lost - Gorilla Zo feat. Lil Wayne

I'm a need counseling
I lost my mind and still haven't found it
I used to be so well-rounded
But now I tiptoe on hell's boundaries
F. Baby A.K.A. crazy
Trapped in a maze, therefore I am amazing
Block E the doc, I'm just a patient
And even with Navigation
I'm lost on a...

Just So You Know...

I reaaally want to delete the two previous posts that include TMI. You might come back soon and find those BWH moments gone...
You know too much!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Opposite Sex Friendships?

Can men and women be friends - platonic friends?

Some 83 percent of the people surveyed think that cross-gender friendships can and do exist, according to a 2001 poll of more than 1,500 members. And a 2006 study by Canada's Public Health Agency of nearly 10,000 Canadian children shows that they often start early, with 65 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls declaring three or more close opposite-sex friends by grade 10.

Post inspired by CNN story. Click here to read.

I have 3 close male friends:

Larry. We've been cool for over 10 years. I know all his business and he knows most of mine. We chat often, but because he lives in another city and we're both married, we don't see each other too much. Larry can be the most unbelievable a--hole sometimes, but I wouldn't have him any other way. God bless his wife.

Mike. Childhood friend since the 7th grade. Former goofy pest. Current tall good catch (no attraction, still). My father was very strict, but to this day Mike is the only guy other than my husband who can pop up at my parents' house whether I'm there or not.

Rodney. Rodney and I have been close since I was 19. We've stolen together (when I was young and dumb), cried together, laughed together, fought together (figuratively), fought others together (same disclaimer), and praised God together. Rodney's my 'brother by another mother' for real.

Platonic friends of the opposite sex are such treasures. Unlike most women, men don't usually hold petty grudges; they can lift heavy items; they're great last minute dates; they can be positive role models for single mothers with boys; and they typically don’t get overly emotional. You can learn a lot from a platonic male friend, also. I can't count the number of no-holds-barred conversations I've had and how much I've learned from the unfiltered male perspective.

Here are a few rules for maintaining a platonic relationship:

1. Be a confident and un-needy individual. It's much easier not to catch feelings for your male friend if you already get your share of healthy attention from men. If your friend is your main source of male attention — and if you only hang around him because you want him — please stop; you'll only end up frustrated.

2. No jealousy or possessiveness. The beauty of platonic friendships is freedom from the drama that can accompany romantic relationships. Drama tends to originate from from intense emotions, jealousy, and expectations that are not met. (Or boredom.) You can leave all of that at the door when you enter a platonic friendship. He's free to do his thing; you're free to do yours.

3. No attraction. Yes, all straight men want to hit it and might try at least once. It helps when there's no strong attraction in the friendship, though. Because all straight men are attracted to everything female (joke!), the burden lies on the woman not be attracted to her male friend. She can't imagine kissing her homeboy. And if she can imagine kissing him, she can't imagine respecting him in a relationship, or coming home to him, or anything that requires a lot of "quality time".

Note: If you're single, it's OK to imagine yourself with your platonic some point later in life! You never know what can happen in the future.... It's fine for single, sexy women to have single, sexy male friends! Consider him on standby in case you ever need him one day. (Just keepin' it real.)

4. Play your role. It's so important to respect your friend's romantic relationships and vice versa. Neither of you should intentionally overstep any boundaries in front of or away from your significant others. Again, you are friends because you can just go with the flow. There's no need to "show up" his girlfriend or wife. And he doesn't need to show up your man. There's no need to pull rank. EVER. And besides, in the back of your mind you know, "I'll be around when he/she is long gone anyway. So whatever...." ;-)

5. When you meet a new man, don't go blabbing that you slept with one of your male friends before. You never know how far you and the new man will go, so you don't need him remembering your "confession" when you get serious. Trust -- he will try his best to break those vital friendships that have been platonic for years. This isn't deceit or "playing games". It's called Keeping YOUR BUSINESS to YOUR self.

So yes, I definitely think platonic friendships between men and women can work. It aint for everybody though!

Note: Most of my Relationship posts are copywritten and excerpts from my upcoming book, "Don't Be Stupid: The Black Woman's Guide to Life".

Friday, January 23, 2009

Chris Rock at Sundance

When Chris Rock’s daughter, Lola, came up to him crying and asked, “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?” the bewildered comic committed himself to search the ends of the earth and the depths of black culture to find out who had put that question into his little girl's head! Director Jeff Stilson’s camera followed the funnyman, and the result is Good Hair, a wonderfully insightful and entertaining, yet remarkably serious, documentary about African American hair culture.

An exposé of comic proportions that only Chris Rock could pull off, Good Hair visits hair salons and styling battles, scientific laboratories, and Indian temples to explore the way black hairstyles impact the activities, pocketbooks, sexual relationships, and self-esteem of black people.

Celebrities such as Ice-T, Kerry Washington, Nia Long, Paul Mooney, Raven SymonĂ©, Maya Angelou, and Reverend Al Sharpton all candidly offer their stories and observations to Rock while he struggles with the task of figuring out how to respond to his daughter’s question. What he discovers is that black hair is a big business that doesn’t always benefit the black community and little Lola’s question might well be bigger than his ability to convince her that the stuff on top of her head is nowhere near as important as what is inside.
Click here for more info.

I knew it was all a conspiracy!

This is definitely a film I want to check out.

I went natural about 2 years ago, and while it can be hella (remember that word?) frustrating at times, it also feels good being chemical free, and also - more importantly - knowing just how my hair really looks. I love knowing the different textures and the real "behavior" of my hair.

Sometimes I wear it curly:

Sometimes I get caught sleeping/slipping and this is the result: Every texture doing whatever it wants to do. It can drive a person crazy. (And no way am I showing my face while sleeping. I'm this light because of the cheap camera and poor flash.)

When the weather is perfect (0% humidity), I flat iron it... who needs a perm? Ok, maybe one day I'll get one again, but no time soon!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Stop Being So Hot!

The guy in this video speaks the truth. And if any woman doesn't believe him, she's kidding herself. FOR REAL. Sex can happen, but I think that if you want something meaningful, the sex should probably wait. You want it to be the icing on the cake. It can't be the whole meal and the table it sits on.

Sex (love) hungry women might want to heed dude's advice. Now, when he says that you have to bash it into a guy's head (watch the video), I do not take that to mean that you should be cooking up a storm and patiently waiting on a man to want you. No, this just means keep doing you -- the you that makes a man crave a woman for more than what's between her legs (as they guy in the video so eloquently says lol).

Source - Black Femininity Blog

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Random Moment - The Root of It All

Just a random moment I wanted to capture...

So, I'm sitting in my desk chair and swivel around to Bear who's sitting on the couch. He walks on his knees over to me and hugs me while I'm sitting in the chair. He grips the top part of my ass and I tell him, "Nooooo, baby you gotta get it from here." I proceed to demonstrate on him how he's supposed to grip me for maximum benefit.

So he says, "Ohhh you want me to grab THE ROOT of it...I'll get to that part... I'll get there..."

The Root! LOL

Celebs Meeting Obama...

John Legend, Beyonce, Queen Latifah, MJB (and Kendu), etc...

VIDEO: Tour of Echoes

Since so much as been said recently about slaves building the White House, I thought I'd share this video that tells the story of that moment in slavery thru Jan. 20, 2009.

Click here or the picture above to view the video.

From the slaves who built the Capitol to King's dream and the Million Man March, watch as Henry Louis Gates Jr. recalls the myriad voices ringing out from history along Barack Obama's inaugural path.
Source - The Root

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Obama's First Inaugural Dance

Awww...aren't they so darling? I just love the Obamas.

And look at Beyonce...just beautiful. She looks young again! Simple is more, I think. I really felt her joy and excitement for Obama, too. I'm glad she got to sing for their first dance. She sounded great too. I just love Beyonce. I just love everybody...

My President's Black!!!

Inauguration Attire

Striking, aren't they?

Obama looked incredibly handsome as usual. And Michelle was a regal beauty.

How do I feel about the dress? I don't really know. It seems so trivial to ponder Michelle's attire, buuut since the First Lady did resonate with me today, I've got to at least address the dress.

Let me preface this by saying that I might be too low class to even know what I'm talking about because Mrs. Obama is on some Presidential type ish for real... but if I just go with a gut, "How does Smokie feel about this dress?" -- I'd have to say I didn't really like it. Horrible? Again, I just might not know fashion like that, but the green and greenish/gold just didn't do it for me.

Love you though!

President Barack Obama!

I cried.

We've elected the first African American (literally) President of the United States of America into office. January 20, 2009. The day after MLK Day.

About 3 years ago, my mother and I were lamenting over the state of Black folks. We couldn't see any hope that the tide would turn for our race in terms of education, self image, self dignity, and self expectations. Right in the midst of hopelessness I said, "God can solve it. I don't know how. I don't know exactly when, but we'll see a change real soon. We've got to have something major happen to get on track. I'm just interested to see what God will do. I know he hasn't forgotten about us!"

Once again... Thank you, God. :-)

Live streams in Washington D.C.

Live blog, photos, speech, etc.

Monday, January 19, 2009

"Notorious" Movie Review

Some guy named Gravy plays Biggie and yeah, he looks like Big. He talks like him. He even raps like him. Almost. The only flaw that I could see was that he may have made Big softer than he really was. But, dude did a good job.

Derek Luke (lol), bless his soul, did his best. It was funny watching him trying to match Puff's energy. He bounced all over the place. He had me rollin'. LOL

Never-before-seen Antonique Smith played Faith Evans. She did a great job. During the course of the movie she went from funny looking to cute back to funny looking to beautiful to cute. It was weird. I don't know if Faith was really the damn near virginal queen who she's portrayed as in the movie.

Naturi Naughton played Lil Kim. And LMAO @ how they portrayed Lil Kim in the film!! Naturi did a fantastic job of being the woman she was written to be. Watching this movie makes you wonder just how delusional Lil Kim is. Right now Kim is probably pretty pissed.

The guy who played Pac (I don't feel like searching for his name and it doesn't even really matter) was OK. I thought it was cute how he kept a "Thug Life" hat on for easy identification. According to this story, Pac was wild and 'noid (believeable) and Biggie was a gentle innocent giant. Hmm.... I don't know about all that.

All in all, I thought Notorious was entertaining, fast paced enough, and well acted. I liked the trip back to the 90s. Good movie.

Grade: B

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Coolness Factor...?

Yes, Obama is "cool", but I think other races might just be giving him more cool points than necessary. After watching this clip, I am convinced that what other races think is sooo cool, is just a regular old black man. I don't know any presidential candidates, but I know plenty of black men who carry themselves as Obama carries himself. I said "carry themselves" — I didn't say "achieve".

In the clip above, Obama admits that this election is an extraordinary personal moment for him. Before that, he flashes that killer smile. Still, the other race interviewer says, "...remarkable moment, but you're still pretty cool in describing it. In private, do you get more emotional?" How emotional do they want him to get? Are they waiting on him to weap, moan, roll on the floor, and scream, "We done over came!!!"

Are they only comfortable with us cooning, laughing, falling out, crying on occassion, and talking reckless?

Friday, January 16, 2009

Back to The Old Me

In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength. (Isaiah 30:15)

It is always weakness to be fretting and worrying, questioning and mis-trusting. What can we do if we wear ourselves to skin and bone? Can we gain anything by fearing and fuming? Do we not unfit ourselves for action and unhinge our minds for wise decision? We are sinking by our struggles when we might float by faith.

Oh, for grace to be quiet! Why run from house to house to repeat the weary story which makes us more and more heart-sick as we tell it? Why even stay at home to cry out in agony because of wretched forebodings which may never be fulfilled? It would be well to keep a quiet tongue, but it would be far better if we had a quiet heart. Oh, to be still and know that Jehovah is God!

Oh, for grace to be confident in God! The holy One of Israel must defend and deliver His own. He cannot run back from His solemn declarations. We may make sure that every word of His will stand though the mountains should depart. He deserves to be confided in; and if we would display confidence and consequent quietness, we might be as happy as the spirits before the throne.

Come, my soul, return unto thy rest, and lean thy head upon the bosom of the Lord Jesus.

This was how I lived my life, but lately I've been letting people get to me. I haven't been resting in my own God-given quiet strength.

Some women need sex, approval, empty words, status, a man, family support. I've never felt an overwhelming need for these things. I've never needed someone to talk to because, well, I have Jesus. I've never needed to be loved because my whole family loves me to the nth degree (and Jesus loves me!). I've never needed other people to approve of me because enough people already "approve" of me and more importantly I approve of me! I've never needed a man's sweet b.s. in my ear (although I've received it) because I know that sweet b.s. alone would never make me ULTIMATELY happy. I've never had to have anything RIGHT NOW because I know that I will get it at the right time.

You get the point.

I guess my attitude changed about a year or so ago because I was tired of everyone else always extolling their virtues, while I quietly sat with mine. Because trivial things mattered so much to other women, I found myself comparing myself to them and raising my hand as if to say, "I already have what's so important to you -- and really, it aint that important."

I've been comparing myself aloud to insecure women (and men) in an effort to SHUT THEM DOWN and stop comparing their lives with mine. No more of that.

I have two goals in 2009: to be on time and to handle my business. I am aware that the Devil sends all kinds of people around to block that and to make you second guess yourself. I'm aware that the Devil tries to stop progress whenever you are thisclose to success. He's done that in my life a few times. NO MORE.

I don't mind letting go of friends, foes, enemies, jobs, habits, ideas, or anything that will block me from getting to the place that SMOKIE needs to be. I pray daily for my own attitude to align itself with what it should be. I am a work-in-progress and I will be damned if some chicken head comes along and stops my progress.

How freeing it is to go back to the old me!


I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

--Galileo Galilei

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The New Definition of Safe Sex?

I was talking to a friend the other day and she mentioned getting tested (THE Test) and having her new dude get tested too. After they pass the tests, they can just go at it and have wild, free, condom-less sex.

As a black woman.

In America.

In 2009.

I got to wondering after that conversation: do other black women use HIV tests as condoms?

So, let's suppose that the guy has the same arrangement with another girl, who has the same arrangement with another guy, who is hitting all kinds of girls raw. Or lets say that the dude is hitting other girls raw, but you were the only one who made him take THE TEST. He took it; he's still hitting other girls raw. You'll get tested again and maybe you'll be ok, maybe not.

In practice, the test is your condom? The test is your only form of protection...? I don't know if that's the full goal of the whole "Know Your Status" campaign. What's the point in checking your status after having unsafe sex (safe sex = condoms) over and over? How have you taken control of your body in an effort to get a negative result? You just took a test? Is that safe/r? How? By not passing it along to someone else after you FINALLY TEST POSITIVE ? By knowing exactly who GAVE IT TO YOU?

Ladies, we can't play Coochie Roulette! You can't trust a new man (and even a man you are committed to in some cases) with your Coochie!

Not strapping up between HIV tests is like not studying for a test and depending on your innate smarts to pass the test. You'll pass a lot of times but eventually you're going to go to college and discover that you have to study between tests to pass.

Question of the day: At what point do you decide to go condom-less? After you take a test or after you are committed and know him better?

This has been a Smokie Says Health Message.

No More Anonymous

Because I've changed the format of my blog to WHATEVER, I think I'll comment on the comments in my "Is Ciara's Career Over?" post.

Can't nobody named Anonymous really tell me ish. If you post as Anonymous I assume you're just somebody living as a 2 on a 1-10 scale.

Sidenote: I do realize that disabling Anonymous comments will reduce my 3 comment average (ok, 1 comment average) to uhm, no comments. lol

Kelis and Nas Expecting!

Kelis and Nas are expecting their first child together. Yea! I love those 2.

Hip-hop star Nas and his wife, singer Kelis, are expecting their first child together, Us Weekly reported Wednesday (January 14).

A source reportedly told Us that the "Milkshake" singer is in her first trimester. "It's all they are talking about," the source told the magazine. "She is carrying hip-hop royalty! They are so excited." The source said mother-to-be Kelis already has a baby bump.
Nas has a daughter, Destiny, from a previous relationship.


I can't even disagree with "hip hop royalty". I hope it's a boy since the ever-so-sexy Nas already has a daughter.

Biggie Still Got Em Fighting

Charli Baltimore to Lil Kim: “You Wasn’t Biggie’s Girl”

“Kim goes out of her way to say she was B.I.G.'s girl,” Baltimore told Yo! Raps. “No, Kim wasn't his girl! Straight up! She wasn't! She benefited from the
situation because she became Lil Kim. She has a career and she's grateful to a nigga for helping her in that aspect, but she was never his girl! If you're running around constantly saying it, you would think a person with half a brain would say... that don't sound right! That's like Faith constantly walking around saying Oh! I was B.I.G.'s wife! Like... we know you were his wife. You don't have to say it 100,000 times… B.I.G. and I were together. He bought me a car. I mean niggas wasn't doing stuff for no reason. It was no game!” more here
Hood chics.

Granted, the movie just came out so Biggie is on everyone's mind, but it's been 10 years. Kim, Faith, Charlie Baltimore...none of them should even be talking about Biggie now. I kind of understand Lil Kim being mad at how she's being portrayed in the movie, but still. Find another dude to argue over because I think it's safe to say this one didn't give a damn then, and he SURELY doesn't give one now.

Is Ciara's Career Over?

Speaking of boring, Ciara just doesn't do anything for me. I don't know if it's the "born with a cat and dog" rumor, or if it's her slim frame and looong legs (my husband says I have a thing against tall women. Untrue - I have a thing against any woman who gives off any type of MALE vibe.) Heck, it might even be her fast talking.

More than likely, however, it's her weak vocals and inability to fill Janet or Aaliyah's shoes. She came out hard with Goodies. Then she still made us dance with quite a few hits. Now, she's putting out weak song after weak song. She's trying too hard and not hitting the mark. UGH.

Don't get me wrong, I don't really aim to bash the sista, but I'm just tired of her not having enough talent.

Christina Milian - Us Against the World

Us Against The World - Official Music Video

Christina Milian is cute as can be ....and booooooRING. I've been trying to figure out just why she comes across so boring and all I can come up with is that she's real soulless. You know, soulless - like Obama would come across if he weren't really a brother from Chi-town. Obama could have been handsome and soulless. But instead he has this interesting personality that fills his smile and actions with....soul. Christina is missing that ingredient AS FAR AS I CAN TELL. And to be clear soulless is not the opposite of soulful (i.e., country/behind the times). It's more of ...'s BORING.

I don't know what Christina can do to drum up some interest. Surely, this lullaby won't put her on anybody's mind.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Let It Go!

This actually came out a few years back. We've all read it before, but each time I receive it in my inbox it's like reading it for the first time.

Let it go for 2009...
By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:
let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

If someone has angered you ........

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ....

If you have a bad attitude.......

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take
you to a new level in Him......

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .......

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!!

Get Right or Get Left
… think about it, and then ....

This Whole Gay Thing

I’ve been holding off my thoughts on gay marriage and gay parenting for some reason.

Then I saw this little story about the first gay priest speaking at the inauguration, and I decided to go on and make the Gay Marriage post.

First though, what exactly can a gay priest do? I know regular priests aren’t even supposed to marry, so I am guessing that a gay priest shouldn’t be able to marry, date, or do anything with another man. If that's the case, what, really, is the whole point of coming out as a gay priest? That’s like a person who only thinks about killing folks going to the cops and confessing. Why say anything...?

I guess a gay priest gets to handle his gay business. Kinda unfair to the other priests if that’s the case.

Now, gay marriage….

One of my best friends is a lesbian who doesn’t identify as a lesbian. That, really, is a whole 'nother post in itself, but she doesn’t classify herself as a lesbian DESPITE moving her white gal down here from Virginia. They have two dogs and plan to impregnate the white broad with some random sperm in 2009 or 2010. See, I told you that was a whole ‘nother story.

But my friend, Lannie, I’ll call her…Lannie plans to go through the whole artificial insemination thing with her non lover. And if gay marriage becomes legal she’ll probably tie the not with her non lover, too.

I even have a lesbian couple in my family. The stud (dominant one) plays co-parent to her lover's daughter. (I must admit they seem pretty happy on the surface, finally.) I have a few gay male friends as well. So, I know gay people intimately; I know their struggles. And guess what? I don’t think they should get married OR bring a kid into the world.

Should they adopt? It isn’t an ideal situation by far, but if a child is already here and needs a good, dysfunctional home, I suppose so.

How judgmental of me to think this way. How dare I deny people the right to live as they want to live. Well.

I see it like this: If a person chooses (I use that word in the most literal context possible) to live a gay lifestyle, I think they should forfeit parenting. I don’t believe that anyone should plan for a child to not to know their biological parent. I believe it is selfish to bring a child into the world while planning to keep their parentage a mystery until they are 18 —or forever. It’s simply unfair to give yourself the gift of a child while taking away their gift of a parent.

I know there are plenty of single parent homes. I know there are many dysfunctional 2 parent homes as well. I know there are plenty children of heterosexual parents who don't know their fathers. The problem is that gay individuals want to ADD to the list of kids who don't know one of their parents.

Heterosexual dysfunctional parenting does not automatically make gay parenting fair to a child. The crisis facing kids who are already here does not justify anyone - single and hetero, or coupled and gay - to CONTRIBUTE to the crisis. Every child deserves to know their other parent.

People take their identities seriously. Another parent is a part of a child's IDENTITY.

Perhaps the main reason that Proposition 8 was struck down was the fear that the floodgates of selfish parenting would open. Maybe the voters were thinking of the kids. I know that’s who I would have been thinking about.

So, be gay. Fine. That is your thing and I'm not mad at you at all. DO YOU. But the gay community really shouldn’t attempt to re-define the definition of marriage and gain all of the benefits that come with it. That’s not to say that I don’t believe in civil unions. I do. I just think that the line should be drawn at children.

J Lo Bringing Sexy Back

or not.

Yes, she's in good shape for having twins, but come on.... Jenny from the Block looking tired as hell. And...back fat? Tsk Tsk.

What Happened?

I knew she was aging hard, but ....Cameron that you? I know Justin is glad he took a left before it got to this level.

I guess if it aint black, it must crack.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Separated at Birth?

I just want to make certain we never forget how alike they look.

And yes, this is the best I've seen either of them looking.

50 Cent Disses Wayne

Lotta cussing, spitting, and threats. Classic 50, just not as good.

"F*ck you Oprah"
"First they say that faggot hot, then they let that junkie shine"

I also read that he says something in the song about his canceled show just being a "commercial" for his upcoming CD. Clearly the commercial wasn't Superbowl worthy. I say I read it because I can't always understand what he's saying despite the dental work.

50 Cent thinks he can kill Wayne's career? That's like Kelis trying to stop Bey.

Love the Header

OK - I changed the header and I love it.

Updates to come!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hate the Header

I hate this header so much now. I did like it. Hmmm...wonder why I don't like it now. Anyway, I'll be changing it asap.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The List

STOP Dating Without The List!

The List is a checklist of what you need and want in a man (or woman). Just like most of us don’t go to the grocery store without a list, we shouldn’t date without one either.

As you think about the characteristics that are important to you (kindness, ambition, honesty, for example), you may discover that you've been dating men who possess few to none of the characteristics. You won't find long-term happiness with someone like this.

Reviewing The List from time to time forces you out of any kind of denial you may be in about a man. If you've written "God fearing" as a Must Have, you're less inclined to keep seeing that Agnostic charmer. When you have The List before you as a reminder that you want a gentle man, for instance, it's kind of hard to keep dating an overly aggressive jerk. Unwanted qualities have less of a chance of slipping through the cracks if you are always mindful - not obsessive - about the kind of man you need vs. the kind of man you are actually seeing. The List takes away the abstractness of uncertainty.

The List should include Must Haves as well as Desires. A Must Have can be "Respectful" and a Desire can be "6 ft." (It may be a Must Have – you know you!) Your Desires can be picky, but because they aren't Must Haves they shouldn't be deal breakers. You can also add a list of Deal Breakers: "abusive", "product of incest"... whatever. Be realistic in your Must Haves. And while you're creating The List, ask yourself if you have these traits as well. You may not have all of them but you should have a great many. You can't expect what you can't give.

You may discover some qualities that you require in a man that you never realized you needed - and weren't getting. This is as much an exercise in discovering what makes you happy as it is in finding a man.

If you don't know what you Must Have in a mate, just think about the unpleasant characteristics in those you've dated in the past. You Must Have the opposite of those.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

2008 vs 2009. . .

Yeah, I'm real excited about the new year. And just like the picture indicates, I'm driving forward — not even worried about what happened or didn't happen in 2008. I'm all about moving forward. I'm strapped in and ready to take it 10 levels higher in 2009!

In 2008, I worked kind of hard at a pretty nice job.
In 2009, I'll work hard at my 9-5, but I'll be out of there before 2010.

In 2008, I got in everyone else's business, trying to help bring peace to their lives.
In 2009, I'm getting in my own business and showing my concern for women by finishing my BOOK and getting paid.

In 2008, I screamed, beat, begged, and bartered my active son into behaving as a young man should.
In 2009, I'll calmly put my foot down and that's that.

In 2008, my money managed me.
In 2009, I'll manage my money to the fullest.

In 2008, I cooked Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners in an apartment.
In 2009, I'll be cooking Easter dinner in a laid house.

In 2008, I stopped swimming and walking 3 times a week.
In 2009, I'm joining the gym up the street.

In 2008, I didn't go to church nearly
In 2009, I'll be a regular (in the pews).

In 2008, I lost a brand new cell phone.
In 2009, I'll get a better one. ;-)

What are you doing in 2009?


I Hate a Thief

So I lost my phone. Someone quickly found it, kept it, and I had to buy a new CHEAP A** phone.

I'm pissed.

Ok, I played with my new phone a lot, a whole lot. I was watching the little home video, below, while following my husband in my car to the bank... and I quickly tossed the phone somewhere so that Bear wouldn't see me playing with it while driving...again.

I don't know if I threw it in my new jacket with the supposedly deep pockets or if I threw it in the car seat and some HOODLUM reached in and retrieved it while I was in the bank. All I know is that within 15 minutes of viewing that video, I was calling my cell phone and someone was answering, hanging up, and sending it to voice mail. I KNOW I could whip their devilish asses if I could just get them in arm shot.


I know they saw all of my Xmas videos and pictures with me BEAMING about my new phone. I know they saw me turning cartwheels and BEAMING about my new phone. I sent them one text message before Bear swiftly cut off the phone. I didn't want to offer a reward for MY phone so I just said: Jesus is Watching! *LOL*

I went out and bought some cheap replacement phone until I can get another super phone next week. This week is the boy's 13th birthday and I have to make a sacrifice. :-)

Luckily my homegirl saved the video... It's grainy though and I can't embed it because her Sprint service/phone is wack.

Click here to see video.

Also, the new phone is not really fly, but Bear did manage to take the artistic picture that I'm using in the header now. He took it while I was sleeping.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year! Do something productive!

The pictures on this page were taken with the lost/stolen phone. I don't even want to share what the new phone is doing. ~sigh~