From Gay Marriage to Evelyn and Chad

Absolutely trifling. Here it is, Summer, and I haven't written anything since Spring. The good news is that in life you can turn things around in an instant. Imagine if I updated everyday? Imagine if the updates were full of juicy, interesting tidbits? I wouldn't be blog trifling anymore.

So, what have you been up to?

I'm a new aunt. Real happy about that, but it makes me wonder: what would I do with a baby? What if I just -boom!- got pregnant and gave birth at 41? What would that mean? I'd be going to a high school graduation at 59? Postponing my "travel around the world" plans from the age of 43 to...60? College graduation at 64? Becoming a grandmother around 67? The truly horrid part is that I'd want to give our child a sibling around his age, so add 2 years to everything. Gross.

Wait. Actually, those things don't sound too bad. I'd have my current family plus NEW family at around 70 years old. Oddly enough, at 40 years old I am suddenly conscious of who I'll have in my life when I'm elderly. Shudder.

But then there are the late night feedings. Daycare. Raising another human being, which requires heavy involvement and sacrifices that I planned on curtailing in 2014. Then, there are the health risks to both mother and child. Let's not forget my 40 year old energy level.  Do I want to be 44 years old running after 2 toddlers or ...drinking martini's and dancing the night away with my husband on the French Riviera? Mmmm. We can always spend time with our families and even travel with them from time to time.

Looks like the kiddo is a no-go.

But! I have plenty of friends who are having babies in their 40s. Watching their impending parenthood is like a roller coaster ride: it's exciting to watch other people flinging through the air, but I won't be joining them. The thing is, I never really planned to have all of this responsibility in my life. I started out thinking I'd probably end up a free spirited, child- and husband-free, auntie and godmother. But, things happened and I'm a happily married, mortgage paying, working mom of two teen boys (one is my bonus son.) My responsibility quotient is full to the limit.

A Little Thing Called Gay Marriage

President Obama is all for it. Celebrities endorse it. Chick-Fil-A didn't and all hell broke loose. Gay marriage is the "thing" now. So, when asked on a Christian radio show about his views on marriage, the President of CFA expressed that he supported traditional marriage - a husband and wife. The media ate that up and spit it out. You know the end result: uproar in the gay community, talk of boycotting CFA, and record sales at Chick-Fil-A.

I say eat where you want to eat. Most of the CEOs in America are conservative white men. I would research it, and list everywhere you can boycott, but eh, I made my point.

One of my best friends is about to marry a lady who she's been with for about 5 years. In September they are going to make things official in Washington, D.C.

I should support gay marriage, right? Hmm...well... I love my friend, I really do. And I would much rather see her happy then unhappy. So, in that vein I support her decision to marry a woman. I won't wag my finger in her face and quote Biblical verses about abominations and hell fire.

But.

I didn't cheer and jump up and down when she told me that she was getting married to her "old lady". I didn't moan or cringe, but my congratulations was more of a dry, "Oh good..." I felt saddened that my best friend had given up on men and that we would never have an authentic double date with two dudes. A dream had been deferred.

I'll be at wedding and we'll have a fabulous time dancing the night away. I can have my personal views on gay marriage and still be there to support her union.

Evelyn and Chad 

In my mind, the story of Evelyn Lozando and Chad Johnson has always been something like this: "Up-in-age gold digger meets fame hungry, possibly gay, corny, mediocre football player and they manufacture a relationship to later star in their own reality show." Although I haven't seen Chad and Evelyn interact very much, the few times I have seen them made me conclude the above.Quite naturally they've never held my interest.

Did he really head butt her after she found a receipt for condoms and went OFF? What is the purpose of such ratchedness? PR for the show? If so, that plan flopped because their reality show has been canceled and he's been cut from the team. Life sucks. I suppose I could talk about how much I am against domestic violence, but I really don't know what happened, and furthermore, I just stopped caring and can't type anymore about them.

Things I Can't Figure Out
1) Who's to blame in this whole Usher vs. Tamika fiasco? Seems like after the tragic death of her son, Tamika wouldn't still be burdened with this custody battle. Why won't Usher just drop it? These men will do anything not to pay child support.

2) Is Joseline Hernandez a man or a woman?? I thought it was a man for the longest, but now I'm like maybe it's really a woman. Regardless, I need some answers to some very specific questions such as was she born a boy?

3) Were grown women really talking about Gabby's (Olympic Gold Medalist) hair? Like, huh? It was pulled in a ponytail. She was sweaty. She wasn't focused on her hair at ALL. Who cares about her hair? I'm more concerned that she doesn't have braces. Baby teeth long gone. This is the only time I'll ever give life to the subject of Gabby's hair, though. I've purposely avoided posting anything on FB about it or responding to any blogs about it. The subject is one that needs no discussion.

4) Why is Beyonce hiding Blue Ivy, save for one grainy side picture?

5) Kim Kardashian wiped all of the interesting off of Kanye. Why is he with her?

6) Questions about "Love and Hip Hop": Why is everyone so old? I can't understand Benzino's body structure and I'm absolutely tired of looking at his and Karlie's teeth. Why are women frontin' like they aren't MiMi's themselves? Yes, she is super duper tired, but she's not the only one. Scrappy's mama would be funny if she wasn't downright disgusting. She might as well be a crackhead. At least then, she'd give us a little dancing and happiness with all that low class. Why don't I hate Steebie J? He's such a typical game running man. He makes me laugh. K-Michelle can sing and I wouldn't mind being her friend. I don't think she's lying about Memphiz beating her down. She probably was talking way too slick to him. Toya has no fear of a beat down because she could never kill him with words. Not much to say about Erica zzzz. Bucky is soooo dusty. She always looks like she needs to be wiped down with a hot, soapy, fluffy towel. Why can't she and Erica get in a fight so E can snatch that wig off? I'm sure K Michelle would be glad to pick it up and throw it in the trash. How can Scrappy touch a woman who slept with Flava Flave and didn't care if the world knew? Why is Rasheeda still doing this? That ship has sailed, sunk, and will never be found. Is Joseline a man??!?

This and That

Random thoughts/opinions...

Beyonce says she lost 60 pounds. Really? Why lie, Puddin' Pie???

Women don't want to hear what Tracy McMillan has to say, but the thrice divorced woman is keeping it real. Pay attention. The truth isn't always wrapped in a pretty bow.

I hate the Basketball Wives franchise. They aren't wives, first of all. And second of all, who wants to watch grown women throwing drinks at each other, talking about NOTHING, and meeting at restaurants 24x7? Such a stupid and unnecessary show. I am embarrassed for people who watch it. A better alternative is Mary Mary's reality show. There's enough drama when you are a large family, with real issues, real jobs, and real talent. Check it out sometimes.

I was so disappointed to see Joshua Ledet leave American Idol, but he'll have a nice career. I love this man and I want to meet him so bad!!  He's my first and only gay crush. (Didn't he jam the phone book on the Final Results show??? LOL)

I love you Joshua!!!

Speaking of Joshua, the self-proclaimed "Mantasia"... what in the hell is Fantasia's problem? Now, the girl can sing her butt off when she's not screaming, but was all of this necessary? Fantasia stay pissing me off for a multitude of reasons.

Recently, Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Jada's mom, Adrienne, sat down at the "Red Table" to talk about...themselves.  That's cool; it's always interesting to hear Jada speak. The most shocking point, however, was that Jada's mom was a drug addict for many years. That surprised me because I just assumed that Jada got her super strength from her mother. Quite the contrary. Her mother seemed like a weak, albeit very nice, lady. I suppose that Jada got her strength DESPITE her mom's weakness.

I'm not a huge Jada fan because I met her many years ago when I was an extra on Jason's Lyric and she was cold as the coldest ice. Mean and cold. Of course, she was young then, and she's probably grown and changed. Or not. Deep down, I just feel like there are elements of fakeness and I'm convinced that her intent for this Mother's Day discussion wasn't just to help women grow or to speak candidly with her mother and daughter (you don't need a camera for that). Perhaps she primarily wanted to influence the public's perception of her as a mother/wife.

I get the impression that  Willow really just wants to please her mom. She wants to sound mature and she wants the admiration and love of her mother; Jada probably loves her baby to the nth degree, but still...something rings insincere about Jada.

Tell Me This Isn't a Doll...

Ok, clearly this is a doll, but ... why? Is Blue Ivy at home? Is this a decoy? If so, why?



So, is Blue Ivy at home safe and sound? If that's the case I suppose Beyonce is carrying around a doll just so she'll keep our attention. Any attention is good attention, right? But wouldn't she keep even more of our attention if she actually toted her live daughter around? In any event, she's got us (me) questioning her sanity.

What's My Purpose in Life?

It seems that every one wants to know his/her "purpose". Why am I here? What does God want me to do with my life?

So, you read books and listen to successful people, hoping to glean some magical formula for self discovery. You want to know that you were created for some special purpose, right? If only you could find the key to discovering exactly what it is!

If I may be blunt: stop worrying about finding some super unique purpose and concentrate on fulfilling the basic purposes found in the Bible. Maybe once you start down that journey, your unique purpose will become apparent. While you're praying about your purpose in life and wondering about hidden talents, try removing your thoughts from SELF and focusing them on JESUS:

1 – Have a personal relationship with God.
2 – Praise and worship the Lord.
3 – Spread the Word of God.
4 – Develop your gifts.

God has a purpose for us all. We all have gifts. Some gifts are more apparent than others: singing, acting, dancing, etc. Some gifts are more subtle: serving and helping others, gentleness, kindness, the ability to make others laugh or feel good about themselves, etc. Your gift doesn’t have to be in the area of science or genius. If your gifts are not apparent, they will become apparent through serving God and spreading His word.

1 Peter 4:10-11: As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Luke 12:27-31: Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Oprah Winfrey knew that she had the gift of gab since the age of 5, but I'm pretty certain she had no idea that her speaking would lead to billionaire status. She grew into her calling as she traveled the journey from reciting church sermons to being a voice that the world would listen to 5 days a week for twenty-five years. Her purpose didn’t just hit her at 5 years old.

As we go through life we will find things that interest us. We may not know ultimately what we are supposed to do with our lives, but should recognize our strengths and weaknesses.

Sometimes our strengths are subtle. A woman who finds herself with immense caring and compassion may not know that her destiny is to talk to and help young women in peril in third world countries. Instead, she may initially think that her life’s purpose is to be a nurse. While nursing, she may find herself comforting foreign women with her words as well as her medical skills. Eventually, she'll venture into volunteer work and/or counseling. One day she will be moved to travel out of the United States to help women in other countries.

The possibilities for each of us are endless, but the key is to wrap yourself in God’s word and start doing things that you love and really care about. This will help guide you to your purpose.

Yolanda Adams says that many people don’t know their God-given gifts because they haven’t taken the time to ask Him, “What is my gift?” I would take that one step further and say that even if they have asked, and they do know, they may be too lazy or scared to take the steps necessary to bring that gift to life. Then, sometimes even when their gift has been revealed they are unwilling to accept it because the gift is not “important enough” and won’t bring worldly accolades and recognition. But, that’s unfortunate because when we embrace the gift that God has given us, large or small, we never know where we will be led. God has already mapped out our lives and it’s up to us to tap into that blueprint and...live.

There's a saying: “We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” Simply put, the lazier you are, the lazier you will become. If you will only get up and do something, the motivation will set in to do more. The more you press forward, the stronger you become. Every time you achieve a small victory, something euphoric happens: healthy pride kicks in and propels you to greater heights.

No one should just live; we should all live, give, and excel. If you have a boring job, find another one or take classes doing something you enjoy. Join an organization with upwardly mobile, progressive peers. Spend time bettering your community. Serve others with an unselfish heart. Remove the focus from self and place it squarely on God and the many people in this world who NEED you. After doing all of this, you just might find some real happiness and your purpose in life.

What's The Big Deal?

"What's in the new chicken wraps! Crispy chicken....fresh lettuce....three cheeses...french dressing...wrapped up in aaaaa"...

LOVE

THE

COMMERCIAL.

And, I don't think it's racist at all. Get a grip black people. The spot is funny as heck b/c Mary is so over the top singing about chicken. Besides, it made me hungry for some fried chicken. Mission accomplished.

Mary J. Blige is my favorite artist, period, but I don't quite appreciate that she felt the need to apologize for singing about chicken. Mary, you made $2M and it's not that serious. Really. We all love chicken.

I can't stop watching. I think I'll make it my ringtone.

Is Beyonce Carrying Around a Doll?

The last time we talked about Beyonce it was to question the validity of her pregnancy. For some reason that post garnered a lot of comments. LOL Most people appreciated my time and effort, but others said that I had the pictures out of order, I didn't know what I was talking about, and "why is it so important how or if she carried a baby?" Blah, blah, blah. The pictures are in order, first off. Secondly, I feel some kind of way about Beyonce lying about being pregnant and walking around with a contraption underneath her clothes. That's just not right. I feel even funnier about her trying to pass off pictures of a doll as Blue Ivy Carter.

Why do I think Beyonce is carrying around a doll? Because she is, dang it! Open your nose and smell the coffee. Recognize a doll when you see one! Ha ha. No really, I used to love Beyonce before this pregnancy fiasco. I adored her and would go STAN on any one who spoke against her, but this is too much. First a fake pregnancy, and now a fake baby? How in the world is Beyonce going to pull this off? At some point, that "child" will be seen and we will expect her to walk, run, and skip. When the blanket is finally lifted (pun intended)...what is Beyonce gone do?

Let's really think about Beyonce's actions since giving "birth." First off, she named her dollter (daugher+doll) Blue Ivy. Who names their child BLUE? That's just setting her up to be blue/sad/depressed all the time. Weak argument? Cool. Aside from that little opinion of mine, Beyonce hides Blue's face all the time. I don't live in NY and I don't check the weather in NY so I don't know how cold it is, but I do know Blue Ivy doesn't move and she's always covered up from head to toe. Sure we saw a tuft of hair one time, but dolls have hair, too.

And why isn't Tina Knowles happier? Why does she look so pent up every time she's out with Beyonce and Blue? Why doesn't she ever hold the grandchild that she wanted so much?

The Carters so graciously shared pictures of their dollter when she was "born." However, they haven't shared anymore pictures. At first, I thought Beyonce might be ashamed that the child is no longer light with straight hair (Creoles still think this way. I have an insane dad who shares the sentiment. sigh) But then, I studied the pictures of Blue a little closer and....

...notice how her eyes are looking  to the right? Well, they are conveniently STILL looking to the right when Beyonce holds her. I had wondered why Beyonce didn't take a picture looking into her child's eyes. Heck, that doll wasn't crafted to look straight ahead so Bey had to pose to accommodate the eyes. What's up with this weird arm placement, also? That's a doll. Beyonce...are you OK?

Of course, they couldn't do the same pose for Jay-Z and Blue, so we only see the back of the doll's head in that picture. (Why is Jay-Z going along with this?? Admittedly, he's rarely seen with Beyonce these days, but he did go to lunch with her and Blue and he did make the song "Glory" about his dollter.)

So tell me - do you think Beyonce is carrying a doll? Do you think Blue Ivy really exists? Check out the video below that I found somewhere on the net.



Oh! One more thing: the Today Show did a segment on Reborn Dolls this morning. Just for ish and giggles, check it out here: Today Show on Reborn Dolls

ORRRR...what if I'm totally wrong and this is Blue Ivy....??? :-) Beyonce sure keeps us guessing!

...And Quit Blaming Bobby Brown!

As I've always suspected, Whitney and Bobby became a couple because they ALREADY had something in common. He didn't introduce her to drugs, but he was someone whom she could get bent with! I loved Whitney, no doubt about it, but I'm a realist.



Also, here's an open letter from Whitney's long time friend, Robin Crawford:

Source

In the wake of Pop icon Whitney Houston’s death, her lifelong friend Robyn Crawford penned a letter to the legendary songstress.

I met her when she was 16. It was at a summer job. I was working at a community center in East Orange, New Jersey, and she was working just like the rest of us. She was there to work. She introduced herself as “Whitney Elizabeth Houston,” and I knew right away she was special. Not a lot of people introduced themselves with their middle names back then. She had peachy colored skin and she didn’t look like anyone I’d ever met in East Orange, New Jersey.

She was nothing like the Whitney Houston she became but at the same time she was already there. She knew, and so did everyone around her. She was doing shows in Manhattan with her mother, and she’d change her clothes in the car and get on stage and do her thing. She hadn’t signed her contract yet. But she was modeling for Wilhelmina because she was discovered on the street. She was walking in front of Carnegie Hall and someone walked up to her and said, “There’s a modeling agency upstairs that’s looking for someone just like you.” She walked upstairs and they signed her. That’s what it was like, that’s what she gave off. She looked like an angel. When my mother first met her, she laughed and said, “You look like an angel, but I know you’re not.” And she wasn’t. But she looked like one.

She chose the life she lived, and she chose it from the beginning. She knew the life better than anyone. Her mother was Cissy Houston, and she had been on the road with Dionne Warwick. She got her chops singing in church, and her mother said to her, “You know, you can always sing for free. You can always sing in church. You don’t have to choose the professional life.” But she chose because she’d been chosen. Some people sing just because. She was never like that. She had to put on her gear. She knew it was going to be a job and that’s how she treated it. Once she committed to something, she finished it. Not long after I met her, she said, “Stick with me, and I’ll take you around the world.” She always knew where she was headed.

And we went around the world. I was her assistant and then her executive assistant and then her creative director. I was her point person for the day-to-day. I traveled all around the world first-class and anyone who ever worked for her will tell you her checks never bounced. You knew she was going to take care of you. She wasn’t going to be in a five-star hotel while you were in a two. I flew the Concorde the way some people ride the bus. She shared the fruits, and she changed a lot of lives. The record company, the band members, her family, her friends, me — she fed everybody. Deep down inside that’s what made her tired.

It was never easy. She never left anything undone. But it was hard. The Bodyguard was great when it was done, but it was a lot of work. She did the movie, she did the music, she did everything — and when she was done, she was done. She nailed it. The music supervisor brought her Linda Ronstadt’s version of “I Will Always Love You” way before Kevin Costner brought Dolly Parton’s version — and she always knew what she could do with it. So when Kevin came in and played it for her and told her he wanted her to sing it for the movie, she said, “Fine.” She wasn’t much for showing off what she had, except when she had to.

I always compare her performance of that song with a great athlete hitting his peak — with Michael Jordan in the playoffs. It was the absolute pinnacle of what she could do, of what anyone could do — and then she had to keep on doing it. Everybody wanted to hear her sing that song, and so she sang it. It didn’t matter whether she had a cold, or wasn’t in good voice; she had to deliver it, and she had it arranged so she could deliver every last note. And even if the note wasn’t there, the feeling was. A lot of her songs were like that. They were a lot to deliver, but she delivered them every note, every time.

It’s so strange that she died when she did. February was her month. Her first album was released on Valentine’s Day, right around the time of the Grammys, right around the time of Clive Davis’s party. It was an orchestrated thing. She was Clive’s girl, his great discovery. And she died right before Valentine’s Day, right before the Grammys, right before Clive’s party. Of course, she was going. I don’t know if she was singing, I don’t know what kind of pressure she was putting on herself. But she was going, that’s for damned sure.

People thought they had to protect her. She hated that. And that’s what people don’t understand: She was always the one doing the driving. Someone just called and told me that the family kept Whitney from seeing her. Nobody kept Whitney from doing anything. She did what she wanted to do. When people left her or were told to leave, they could never believe that Whitney would never call them — but she never did. She was working hard to keep herself together, and I think she felt that if she admitted any feeling of sadness or weakness she would crumble. One time, back when we were young, we were out, we were partying, and I said, “Listen, I have to go. I’m tired. I can’t make it.” And she looked at me with her eyes wide and said, “I’ve got to make it.”

And that was Whitney. She could not pick up the phone, and that meant it was too painful. I have never spoken about her until now. And she knew I wouldn’t. She was a loyal friend, and she knew I was never going to be disloyal to her. I was never going to betray her. Now I can’t believe that I’m never going to hug her or hear her laughter again. I loved her laughter, and that’s what I miss most, that’s what I miss already.

I’m trying not to think of the end. I’m trying not to listen to all the reports. All these people talking about drugs — well, a lot of people take drugs, and they’re still around. Whitney isn’t, because you never know the way the wind blows. I just hope that she wasn’t in pain and that she hadn’t lost hope. She gave so much to so many people; I hope that she felt loved in return. She was the action, for such a long time. She’s out of the action now. I hope she can finally rest.

Goodbye Whitney...

Today - sadly, tragically - Whitney Houston passed away. The cause of her death is yet unknown, but the reason is somehow irrelevant because...she's gone. Her struggle has ended at 48 years old. Poor Cissy. Poor Dionne. Poor Bobbi Kristina. Poor Bobby. Poor everyone. We all loved Whitney. She was a vibrant and lively soul until the end.

I've read the comments on the blogs and new sites. Most people are praying that she's resting in peace, but there are others out there who are showing no sympathy because of her addiction. Some feel that she was a talent wasted, and that's sad and so erroneous because her talent was never wasted. She gave us so many great songs from 1985 - 2009. Her music will live on. Her legacy breathes.

LeBron proposes to Savannah!

Great! I have nothing negative to say, but so many women are saying, "About time" and all that negative jazz. My take on it is that they are young and she could have waited FAR longer and had FAR more children and married a man FAR more inferior (like so many women do...IF they get married at all). So until YOU leave an NBA player because he hasn't yet proposed to YOU, you can't comment on Savannah, Boo.

Congrats to the happy couple!