The Complexity of a Woman

Do you want to know why I can't keep up with this blog? Simply because I'm a living, breathing, doing everything, complex WOMAN.

The load is heavy! The rewards are rich! The time is limited!

I sit here now thinking of all that I should be doing, but am not. In an effort to go easy on myself, every now and then I think of the productive times and keep it moving.

Thank God for a flexible work schedule, but I still put in 40 hours a week, regardless of the actual hours I sit in the brick and mortar building. I work. I think. I analyze. I surf the web, and try to think of things to share on Facebook. I live. I love. I make lists. I lose lists. I chill. I clean. I cook. I read. I chill.

I chill.

In shame, I bow my head and confess that I haven't worked on my book in 2 months. Sure, I record and write notes here and there, but I'm not on it. But hey - I just moved in a new home, it's summertime, and I can only do so much.

Excuses.

And, then, my side business has dried up because I can't devote the proper time to it. DashCo. Editing Services is not dead, just on a sabbatical. But, I thank God tremendously for having a busy mind. I may not be putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), but I think I know what I need to do, and eventually I'll get it all done in between trying to be a healthier, better, even happier, wife and mother...and employee...and entrepreneur. You get it: I's busy!

Here's a shout out to sistas all over who get up everyday and make it happen. Those of us who are also night owls because we don't want to miss anything. Big Ups to the Superwomen we are... Of course, our celebration wouldn't be complete without a little mood music. Let me know which ones I missed in the comments section.

Gloria Gayner - I Will Survive (Live)


Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Live) (no matter what, it's a FAB song!)


Lisa Stansfield - All Woman (Live)


Whitney Houston & CeCe Winans - Count on Me (Live)


Destiny's Child - Independent Woman (Live)


Karyn White - Superwoman


Christina Aguilera ft. Lil Kim - Can't Hold Us Down


Helen Reddy - I Am Woman (y'all don't know nothin' bout Helen!)


Janet Jackson - Control


Diana Ross - I'm Coming Out


Mc Lyte - Lyte as a Rock


Queen Latifah and Monie in the Middle - Ladies First


Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun


Eve - Who's That Girl


Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx - She Got Her Own

Love and Hate

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Wow. I’m not a narcissist.

Loves:

• Peaceful landscapes
• Interesting/weird/different/unique people
• Tiger Woods Golf (Wii)
• Plain toast
• Ice
• Bacon
• Lasagna
• Competition
• Strong and respectful women
• Wild and crazy women
• Tall men
• Beautiful smiles
• Fit, taught bodies with muscles that don’t bulge
• All skin tones. ALL.
• One on one conversations
• Nas
• Beyonce
• Honesty
• Real hair
• Intelligence
• Common sense carriers
• Words on paper
• Solitude
• A good party
• Money
• Soulful, deep ballads
• Kindness
• Erykah Badu
• Yolanda Adams
• Tyrese
• Gospel music
• Looking into my husband's eyes when we're in a crowd
• Jesus
• My family
• Beaches/swimming/the pool
• New restaurants/places/things
• Paying bills
• Traveling
• Late night drives
• Planning
• True murder mysteries
• Survivors
• Love

Hates:

• Talk when there should be silence
• Silence when there should be talk
• Mayo (yuck, gag, gross!)
• Greedy people
• Rude people
• Lazy people
• Superficial people
• Cats
• Caterpillars
• Music that’s overly sexual and tacky (70% of R. Kelly’s stuff)
• Naps
• How accessible celebrities are now
• How influential celebrities are to children and weak adults
• Violence, especially against women and children 
• Being wrong
• Lou Rawls
• Uncomfortable change
• Going to movie theaters or places that aren’t new
• Al Jarreau
• Public restrooms (ewww!)
• Criticism
• To eat at other people’s homes if they have pets and don’t keep a spotless home
• Racists who aren’t black
• The way I procrastinate
• Hate

Ode to '80s Hip Hop!

My good friend Leslie stopped by for Martinis and Spades the other night and cold shocked me speechless ('80s lingo intended). Leslie's only 30, but until LAST NIGHT we seemed to recall the same moments in history. Then suddenly the name KRS-1 came up and in an utter state of confusion she asked, "What's that? A who?"

My sleeping husband jumped up in disbelief. I thought she was kidding. I joked around and mimicked KRS-1: "Who am I? I AM HIP HOP [insert random big words, real and made up]. I thought she'd laugh and confess to knowing The Philosopher.

Nope.

"What about Whodini? Grandmaster Flash?"

Another blank stare. "I think I heard of..." Blank stare.

This is for you, Leslie: A brief look at the '80s hip hop that I listened to (and loved).

Whodini - 5 Minutes of Funk (1984)

This is the first rap song I remember listening to and reeeally liking. I loved Whodini.

Whodini - I'm a Ho (1986)

Oh my God, I would never listen to this around my parents! Loved it.

Kurtis Blow - If I Ruled The World (1985)

Never been a Kurtis Blow fan, but he was one of the very first rappers I remember.

Grandmaster Flash - The Message

Classic HIP HOP.

Fat Boys - Fat Boys (1984)

Funny and fat, yes sir... Look up thier "Human Beat Box" song.

MC Shan - Left Me Lonely (1987)

Love it!!! This is the way to make a rap love song, Plies.

Ms. Melodie - Live on Stage (1984)

Click here to see the video.
Understand, KRS-1's ex-wife SLAAAYED IT!!

UTFO - Roxanne, Roxanne (1985)

Jammin!

Boogie Boys - Fly Girl (1985)

Gold nails!! I had one. *smile*

De La Soul - Me, Myself and I (1989)

Who doesn't remember De La Soul? It's late 80s, but I had to include!

And to the man who sparked this post...

KRS-1 - My Philosphy (1987)


KRS-1 - Criminal Minded


Eric B. and Rakim - I Aint No Joke


Of course, I couldn't leave out the best rap of all time!
Eric B. and Rakim - Paid In Full (1987)

Mashonda Gives First Post Divorce Interview to Vibe

...and I loved every minute of it. Loved it!!!!

Before reading the interview, I'd written some jive junk criticizing Mashonda for talking about Swizz and Alicia still. But I had to delete all that crap because baaaaaby Mashonda gave the number 2 interview of all time, second only to Whitney's infamous "Crack Is Wack" delight!

I completely understand that Mashonda had to GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT AND CLEAR A FEW THINGS UP! I hope Alicia reads and learns.

A few pearls:

I know it was very important for you to sit down with Alicia if she was going to be around your son. Safe to assume that happened?
When I wrote her that Twitter letter everybody wanted to say things like ‘Oh, what do you need to meet her for? It's not her problem, it's Swizz's." I'm like, ‘You have a kid, go through what I went through and then talk to me.’ I'm not having my son around anybody I don't know. I don't give a shit who you are and how much money you have and what management he's going to be under when he visits you. I need to see you and I need you to see how serious I am about him. And that's what happened. We had to sit down, and I told her how I felt. I didn't mention anything else, it was all about my son and it was fine after that. I'm not going sit and talk to [them] about what happened between the three of us. This is about my son.

When did this meeting finally take place?
It took a good year and a half. I think that only happened in March.

How was Alicia’s demeanor?
She just listened.

This all sounds like a really awkward gathering…
It wasn't awkward; I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't ready. I said what I had to say as a mom. It was a whole sit down dinner. So you know how intimate that is. There are certain things we have to do as women in order to move forward. Love does not happen like this. Love doesn’t involve hurt, lies, or destructing anybody else's soul.

Very true, have you received an apology from either one of them yet?
Nope.

Surprising?
No, because I honestly feel like they think they didn't do anything wrong. I don't care about their apology. As long as he’s a great dad to my son and she's a good step-mom, they don't have to worry about apologizing because they will never understand or care about the pain I went through. That was a big thing at first, I felt like nobody was respecting me. He's not respecting me, she's not respecting me. [But] then I had to say, ‘Fuck my ego, because this can't be an ego thing. If it is I'm going to fall down and die.’ People feel that they are so happy and they are so in love, but what really happens is that real love does not come from a foundation when you hurt somebody else. Love does not happen like this. Love doesn’t involve hurt, lies, or destructing anybody else's soul.

If real love isn’t born from infidelity, are you saying it wouldn’t shock you if their soon-to-be marriage ended in divorce?
I don't think about it, it's not my concern. I don't think about them anymore. If there was no little boy involved in this, I would’ve probably moved to another country by now. I've thought about going to live in Europe, but I can't because his dad is here. I don't like confusion, I don't like drama, I don't like none of that stuff. I would have left before the divorce was even final.

Full story here

She'll never be a star (music is yuck), but she definitely has my respect.

The Dream Dips on Christina M.

Like, really, what the hell? Frolicking on the beach with the hired help? For real?

It's a fact that Christina dumped her boyfriend (Cool? Dre?) for The Dream, but who cares? Karma doesn't necessarily say that dumping a boyfriend = cheating on a wife. I don't care if Christina is fake, a gold digger, or the second coming of Mel Gibson — The Dream and his wack ass CD, Love Tit-tays, didn't have to do the girl like that.

Are they doing this for publicity? Not hardly. These celebrity marriages are built on the flimsiest foundations, and they tear apart everyday. It's a shame, really.

I have a pretty good idea why The Nightmare showed out, too. I'd bet that it's the same reason he dumped Nivea: Christina wasn't hot anymore. Come on ladies, a lot of us have been there: young, hot, and desirable until a man impregnates us and forgets that we were his ultimate come up.

Idiot.

Usher: There Goes My Baby

I loooove this song. Sexy. Strong. Beautiful. Usher's latest offering just oozes grown up and classy sex appeal. Now this is how you make a song. Video is cool, too.

Tantilizing News from Across the Pond

I'll bet that you've never even heard of Chris Hune before.

How about Hune and his wife?

Nothing yet?

How about the woman who Hune left his wife for?

Still nothing?

Ok, then, how about Hune's mistress' WIFE?

Yes, that's right. The Energy Secretary in the UK left his wife and 3 kids for the lesbian/bi-sexual/straight (?) woman in the dress (above). 

Hune's political career is of little interest to me but I thought it was interesting that he left his wife for what amounts to an unpretty Ellen. My only question is this: Will the mistress, Carina Trimingham (trim? lol) divorce her "wife" too?

I don't think so. There will only be one messy and heartbreaking divorce in this scenario. Miss Trim can just chunk her "wife" the deuce and keep it moving.

Look at Hune, his wife, and his mistress on election day. SMH. I can't help but laugh though.

The whole sordid story here.

More here

In Case You Didn't Know...

Kelly can't blow.

This is so bad you might have to listen a few times just to get the fullness of the bad.