Sunday, December 14, 2008
Obama: The Talk
After today's unfortunate event with President Bush, you can best believe Obama gathered everybody around (the girls being the ONLY exception. Suit up, Michelle) for a "Better not happen to me" talk.
Obama: I gathered all of you today to get one thing clear. The notion that you would let a reporter throw a shoe at me, not one time - but two times - is completely unacceptable. To be even clearer: Leather better be in y'all bellies before I ever know shit went down. Got it?
Michelle: [Looks around at surrounding Security, the Vice President, Hillary, Bill and anyone who happened to be in the near vicinity that day] What Barrack means --
Obama: -- what Barrack means is that a shoe could have been a knife and Barry will stomp a hole in any body's azz in this room who lets a knife or shoe or piece of LINT whiz past my head. Got it?
Biden: [Raises hand] So, I would have to take a knife for you?
Obama: Or a shoe.
Biden: [Steps back] I see.
Hillary Clinton huffs and puffs, rolls eyes, and folds arms across chest.
Obama: [Doesn't even look in Hillary's direction as he addresses her] Unfold those arms and catch a boot in your mouth if you have to.
Michelle: Bullet proof glass, Barrack -- you have bullet proof glass around you all the time!
[Biden breaths a sigh of relief.]
Bill Clinton: [muttering] this is bullshit....
Obama: [Raises eyes and touches chin]
Bullet proof glass 90% of the time, but the notion that 10% of the time is not the KEY factor in this equation is ridiculous. Under no circumstances am I to ever feel the wind of a flying shoe. When I come up for air I'm busting the nearest ally who let it happen. [Lifts suit jacket to reveal 45.] Hope I'm being clear.
[Everyone nods and security encircles Obama. ]
Obama: Chi-town baby!
Labels: Obama skit