I've been reading about South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and all I can really do is shake my head.
The story goes that the married father of four was "missing" for a week (including Father's Day weekend), and when he resurfaced he tearfully held a press conference admitting that he'd been holed up in Argentina with his mistress all the while. She'd better be smoking hot like fire but I guess that's not the point.
I applauded his wife for not being by his side during his bible quoting Press Conference of Confession. Hadn't we seen enough of those pathetic-stand-by-your man women already? Jenny Sanford was a breath of fresh strong air. I appreciated the message she was sending to her husband and to all women in similar situations.
Sanford said she discovered her husband's affair early this year after coming across a copy of a letter to the mistress in one of his files in the official governor's mansion. He had asked her to find some financial information, she said, not an unusual request considering her heavy involvement in his career.Maybe he sent her to discover the information because he wanted out of the marriage and didn't know how to tell her. He assumed, I'm sure, that his wife had a backbone and would tell him to get to stepping after finding intimate correspondence to his mistress. Instead, she said she was willing to work on the marriage.
She would not comment on what was in the letter except to say "enough to figure out an affair was going on."
The first lady said she confronted her husband immediately, and he agreed to end the affair. She said she wasn't sure Friday whether he had done so.
"I guess that's what we will have to see. I believe he has," she said. "But he was down there for five days. I saw him yesterday and he is not staying here. We'll just see what kind of spirit of reconciliation he has himself."
"When I found out in January, we both indicated a willingness to continue working on the marriage, but there's not room for three people in a marriage," she said. "I've done everything in my power possibly to keep him from going to see her and to really make sure she was off the table, including asking him to leave."
Then, he comes home and tells everyone that he was with his mistress, quotes bible verses, says that his mistress is his soul mate BUT he will try to fall back in love with his wife. And she's still willing to hope for some handout "spirit of reconcilliation" from him?
Here's my thing, if you're married and discover that your spouse has stomped on those sacred vows I don't feel you owe him anything more. God gives us all a pass to move on called "adultery". Some women take that pass and some women reject that pass. No one is perfect and I can understand forgiving a remorseful spouse, but I can not understand the logic behind sticking with a man who repeatedly breaks those vows and publicly embarrasses his wife by declaring his mistress as his "soul mate". Dueces need to be chunked.
The governor said he met Chapur in Punta Del Este, Uruguay, in 2001 after his final term in Congress and before his first term as governor. He said the two struck up an e-mail correspondence after meeting on a dance floor — a chance encounter during which he counseled her into the night about her failing marriage.
For the next seven-plus years, Sanford said, the two exchanged messages, sometimes sporadically.
In early 2009, after Jenny Sanford discovered the affair, the couple went into counseling. She has told The Associated Press that he asked her several times to visit the mistress and she refused.
But the governor claims he wanted to end the affair in person and, with his wife's permission, went to New York with a "trusted spiritual adviser" serving as chaperon. The three went to church and dinner together and parted ways the same night.
But he visited Chapur again in Argentina on June 18, the trip that brought the whole affair to light.
More news from the Sanford camp. Jenny Sanford, wife of the love sick Gov. has just broken silence, for the first time since Gov. Sanford's AP interview in which he disclosed multiple "line crossing" affairs with other women, and referred to his Argentinian mistress as his "soul mate." In it, she acknowledges that his actions were inexcusable, but says she is willing to forgive him.
At this point, Jenny's marriage is no longer sacred and her husband has over stepped all the boundaries. Sure, we all deserve forgiveness, but let's not be foolish here. I say let him be with his soul mate (and any other woman who he might "cross the line with" again). This will only free Jenny up for her soulmate.
I wish women could understand that there is no strength in withstanding humiliation, suffering, and mistreatment in a relationship. Sure, we all go through normal ups and downs, but when the downs include such serious violations as ongoing affairs (be those affairs intimate or "just physical"), all bets are off. There's only strength in loving yourself enough to surround yourself with those who feel—and show—the same. Her husband never loved her enough, and really, since he's quoting bible verses, that's the ONE thing a husband is REQUIRED to do. And love is an action word.