Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's Hard Out Here for a Brotha....

I ran into an article on how hard it is to be a black man. Interesting.

Keith Borders tries hard not to scare people. He’s 6-foot-7, a garrulous lawyer who talks with his hands. And he’s black. Many people find him threatening. He works hard to prove otherwise.

“I have a very keen sense of my size and how I communicate,” says Borders of Mason, Ohio. “I end up putting my hands in my pockets or behind me. I stand with my feet closer together. With my feet spread out, it looks like I’m taking a stance. And I use a softer voice.”

Every day, African-American men consciously work to offset stereotypes about them — that they are dangerous, aggressive, angry. Some smile a lot, dress conservatively and speak with deference: “Yes, sir,” or “No, ma’am.” They are mindful of their bodies, careful not to dart into closing elevators or stand too close in grocery stores.
This kind of pisses me off. Do you really have to minimize yourselves like this? If so... damn, I'M sorry.

I wish that all Blacks could move to Africa (after AIDS is gone) and have a country all to ourselves. Then again, I'm trippin'. Can Al or Jesse really run the country? Would we vote Jay-Z for president? Would weed instantly become legal? And too expensive? Would we get a second chance at credit? And how fast would we fuck it up?

Actually, we probably would vote Jay for president IF he didn't run with Memphis Bleek. How about Oprah Winfrey for VP? Or Keyshia Cole? We'd show Korea what's up then...

Would I ever find another fast food restaurant with good service? ALL of the schools would be "black schools"... All of the tv programmers would be black ...all the doctors ...all the nurses ...all the cops. Would the whole country end up like New Orleans, pre-Katrina?

How many black men would escape to be with white women?

Well, clearly, we're not ready to lead the country, but in defiance of Blacks having to minimize ourselves, I am going to be as Black as humanly possible in Corporate America from now on.

This means:

  • No more happy hours with white women who get drunk off the first drink.
  • No more happy hours at white-only bars.
  • No more hearty laughter at corney jokes.
  • No more passive aggressive responses to "You Go Girl!" (and the like). I'm suing.
  • No more chipping in on birthday gifts, baby shower gifts, or weddings gifts. I don't care about your new legitimate baby, your birthday, or your 4th wedding and 4th name change.
  • No more lunches with Amy and Jill; you BORE me.
  • No more pretending that I'm taking trips around the world during my vacation when all I want to do is CHILL in the CITY.
  • No more FLAGS around my desk.

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