Super C Strikes

Speaking of Ciara, what's up with this?



It's not that I'm mad about Ciara using the Diva theme and beat -- but why would she put herself out there like that...?

Ciara: I don't know... I don't think I want to put it on the mix tape. It's not that hot.

Yes man: Not that hot? Not that hot?! Girl, you sound better than Beyonce!

Merry Christmas to Me!

I know this won't seem like much to those of you who have fly phones. But for ME, getting a Sonny Ericsson Walkman was like hitting the lottery. For seven years I carried around my trusty Nokia with pride. No, it didn't have a camera phone, I couln't play music on it, and it was rather large, BUT I could drop, wash, and heat that phone with no service interruption. That phone was like a phone from the Twilight Zone and I loved it.

I, however, was the only person in love with my phone. My friends and family would get embarassed for me when I'd pull it out with loving pride. Now, I've had to retire the Nokia for my cooooool Walkman. I love it! I've been playing with this phone since I bought it. Whoo hooo! Welcome to 2009 Smokie!

Crys: what kind of phone is it?
Smokie: sony ericsson walkman
Smokie: i love it
Smokie: a whole lot
Smokie: i'm still playing with it
Smokie: it does so much.
Crys: alskjdfla;sjdflaskjdflsjd;lkajskld;fsdf
Crys: theasdfja;ldsfj;laskjdflak;sjdfa;lskdfj;alskf
Crys: i have NOWAY to make sure that statement is valid
Smokie: drfgdgfgfgfdgsdfghgjhjkllk
Crys: i mean - LOOK at what you were working with BEFORE
Crys: forreal - you went like LEAPS AND BOUNDS
Smokie: girl, i feel like i just bloomed or something
Crys: most people do phone upgrades GRADUALLY
Smokie: and i know totally how to work it. i been playing with it for over 24 hours
Crys: you just essentially jumped off the grand phone canyon
Smokie: LOLJLDSKFJLDF
Crys: you just essentially jumped off the grand phone canyon
Crys: fosjdf;lksjf;ljasdfka;lsjdflaskdfjlsaf
Smokie:
Smokie:
Crys: that was FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNY TO ME
Smokie: i seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Crys, don't worry: I know that copying IMs to your blog is your thing. I'm not trying to Ciara you.

The Importance of Dating

“Are you dating yet?” I asked my friend Kim. She’d just broken up with her common law husband of 20 years. (I’d say she left him about 19 years too late, but that’s another post.)

She looked at me with a smirk and said, “Uh yeah. Dating. Whatever you want to call it.”

In effect this meant, “If you consider having sex and watching movies on my couch ‘dating’, then yes I am dating.”

Uhm no. I consider that ‘married’ - or selling yourself WAY too short.

Why do so many Black women laugh at the term “dating” as if it’s a luxury that they don’t deserve? Have BW been mislead into thinking that Black men won’t ask a woman out on an *official* date? Are BW only interested in BM who don’t respect BW enough to go through the very important formality of asking them out on a date?

But I don’t want to go on any dates!

Really? Why not? Are we so conditioned to not date that we actually welcome the absence of dating?

I just want to chill at his crib, have some drinks, watch some movies, and laugh and talk.

I think doing this when you first meet a man does a disservice to a potential relationship.

Why?

When we allow a man to date and court us (before the Henndog and Blockbuster nights begin) this establishes a tangible level of respect from day one. A man can not help but feel that a woman who expects to be courted is a woman of value. A woman who knows she is worthy of being planned for (men have to plan dates) appears more valuable - and more of a catch (he has to put in a little work) - to a man. Her self image is higher. Her expectations are higher. Her self esteem is higher. Simply put, she's a valuable quality. Those who have more to offer expect more in a potential mate.

A woman who only expects and wants a man to chill at the house with her, subconsciously says, "This is good enough for me. I don't expect or give more." This is fine if you want to play with men and truly don't want anything more substantial, but if you ever decide to get a real man who has something real to offer, you're going to have to switch it up and experience the formality of dating.

Dating allows you to see the guy in different settings, around different people. You can’t adequately gauge a man’s character if you just chill at his crib all the time. I’ve known women (self included) who have fallen in love with a man in the house, only to discover, later, that he’s someone she wouldn’t want to ever take out in public. Enter: Big Problem.

Dating makes a man feel more like a man and a woman feel more like a woman. Having a man pick you up (or meet you out for safety), open the door for you, dress up for you, and show you a great night on the town just adds a certain something to any blossoming relationship. A certain undefinable ingredient that both women and men need.

If you are a fully grown woman and your (new) man can not afford dinner and a movie or any random cheap date, he aint ready. A man of integrity and self respect will WAIT until he has a little money to take you out. It is not about the money, but about what the money and courting represents to a real man. Not to a boy -- but to a real man. If a man is 35 years old without the means to take you out, you must ask yourself: “What has he been doing all these years? Is he not taking care of his business at ALL?” If not… why do you want him? What does that say about your own self respect?

Note: I searched Google and Yahoo repeatedly for "black couples dining" and only came up with 2 pictures, kinda. When I searched "black couples" I ran into bed shots or downright porn. When I searched "couples dining" I ran into ONLY white couples in restaurants. There are plenty of those pictures out there. And hey, I didn't want to include yet another picture of Michelle and Barack Obama in this post. I come from a family where BM actually date and court black women, so I know we have more than Barack to represent how real men do things.

Seven Pounds: The Review

Magnificent! The trailer, above, can't possibly convey the cinematic masterpiece that is "Seven Pounds". Let’s just say that I went into the movie a little sour at Will Smith for whatever reason, and I came out a fan for life. Will Smith is fantastic. Everyone shines in the movie.

I don’t usually do love stories/drama. This was a drama and it was greeeat. Not to SPOIL anything for you, but the love scene between Will Smith’s character and Rosario Dawson’s was one of the most touching, poignant love scenes I have ever seen. Beautiful! Peep the tears dropping from Will’s eyes while he’s kissing around the 1:42 mark. Again, the trailer does NOT do the movie justice.

I can’t really say too much about Seven Pounds because I don’t want to give anything away; it’s a movie that you just have to see for yourself.

I’d like to thank God right now that Beyonce doesn’t have a singing or speaking part in this film.

Barack is the New Marley

I'm replacing my Bob Marley poster with this one.

And y'all thought Clinton was the first black president. Hmph!

Beyonce in "Obsessed" Trailer

It's like Beyonce just walked on the set of a real movie with real actors and injected herself right in the middle and fucked it completely up.

Beyonce know she wrong.

UPDATE: Click here for longer trailer. Even worse.

Now I See...

...how Trina got an NBA player.

I don't really follow the Baddest Bitch like that, but I remember reading here and there something about "Trina dating an NBA player". In the back of my mind, I would always wonder, "How ole washed up Trina get a Baller?" THEN today, I finally paid attention to an article including the words "hip hop artist Trina." Whaaaat? Some NBA player named Kenyon Martin got Trina's lips tatted on his neck...? Word? Trina got it like that?

Then, I saw this:



Oh hell, it all makes sense now. Trina got her a retarded Baller. I call this the Brandy Route to a Baller.

Moral of the Post: Stay in your lane.

The Perfect Steak

I don't want to turn into some Super Domestic Cooking Goddess, but I think I am turning into her to some extent. And because I'm sooo proud of myself, I have to share my recipe for the perfect oven cooked steak. I've been experimenting, and well...we're finally not wasting $30 on steaks!

I'm perfectly content with pork chops and chicken. For the most part, to me, food is just a means of survival. But living with two young men - my 12 year old son and my husband (using young loosely here) - has forced me to go over and beyond spaghetti, fried pork chops, and fried chicken.

Enter steak.

Bear loves to grill, but I'm not trying to fire up the pit, like, ever - but sometimes I want to cook steak. So I've learned the art of cooking a steak on the stove. Here's my recipe:

2 quality cut steaks (rib eye, T-Bone, NY Strip)
Vegetable oil
Butter/margarine
Course Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder
Fajita seasoning
Sliced Mushrooms

The secret to cooking a steak on the stove is a super hot, almost smoking, cast iron skillet.

1. Coat the steaks in a thin layer of oil.

2. Season the steaks with the course salt, pepper, garlic salt, and a liiitle fajita seasoning (this is not a powder; it comes in a shaker). I get kind of liberal with the salt and pepper, but not crazy.

3. Drop about a tablespoon or two of oil into a cast iron skillet over medium high heat.

4. When the grease is popping like fish grease, drop the steaks in the skillet. Make sure that the steaks are not overlapping and that the heat is fully under the steaks. You may have to cook one at a time.

5. Cook on both sides for 2 minutes.

6. Set steaks aside for up to 5 minutes.

7. Drop a container of sliced mushrooms into the skillet. Turn down the heat to medium. Add 2 or 3 tablespoons of butter the center of the pan and let it melt and cascade under the mushrooms. Try not to overlap the mushrooms.

8. Turn mushrooms over after 2-3 minutes on each side.

9. Drop the mushrooms and a few pats of butter over the steaks.

10. Cover and Cook at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes.

Love it!

Moral of the post: Cook like this for a man only when you KNOW he's going to put a ring on it -- or if you want him to put a ring on it!

Ladies: if you aren't already married to the man or actually engaged to him (nothing less than a ring + date = engaged) then you have to be careful to cook meals like this only eeevery now and then. These are just "teasers" for a man to see what kind of cook you'll be if he marries you. Boyfriends and baby daddies don't get this but once or twice a year, for the first 2 years only.

Obama: The Talk

After today's unfortunate event with President Bush, you can best believe Obama gathered everybody around (the girls being the ONLY exception. Suit up, Michelle) for a "Better not happen to me" talk.

Obama: I gathered all of you today to get one thing clear. The notion that you would let a reporter throw a shoe at me, not one time - but two times - is completely unacceptable. To be even clearer: Leather better be in y'all bellies before I ever know shit went down. Got it?

Michelle: [Looks around at surrounding Security, the Vice President, Hillary, Bill and anyone who happened to be in the near vicinity that day] What Barrack means --

Obama: -- what Barrack means is that a shoe could have been a knife and Barry will stomp a hole in any body's azz in this room who lets a knife or shoe or piece of LINT whiz past my head. Got it?

Biden: [Raises hand] So, I would have to take a knife for you?

Obama: Or a shoe.

Biden: [Steps back] I see.

Hillary Clinton huffs and puffs, rolls eyes, and folds arms across chest.

Obama: [Doesn't even look in Hillary's direction as he addresses her] Unfold those arms and catch a boot in your mouth if you have to.

Michelle: Bullet proof glass, Barrack -- you have bullet proof glass around you all the time!

[Biden breaths a sigh of relief.]

Bill Clinton: [muttering] this is bullshit....

Obama: [Raises eyes and touches chin]

Bullet proof glass 90% of the time, but the notion that 10% of the time is not the KEY factor in this equation is ridiculous. Under no circumstances am I to ever feel the wind of a flying shoe. When I come up for air I'm busting the nearest ally who let it happen. [Lifts suit jacket to reveal 45.] Hope I'm being clear.

[Everyone nods and security encircles Obama. ]

Obama: Chi-town baby!

Bush: On His Own

On an Iraq trip shrouded in secrecy and dissent, President George W. Bush on Sunday hailed progress in the unpopular war that defines his presidency and got a size-10 reminder of opposition to his policies when a man hurled shoes at him during a news conference.

"This is the end!" shouted the man, later identified as Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, an Iraqi-owned station based in Cairo, Egypt.

Bush ducked both shoes as they whizzed past his head and landed with a thud against the wall behind him.

"All I can report," Bush joked of the incident, "is a size 10."

So, let me get this straight: While speaking in Baghdad to a group of reporters, President Bush had to duck and dodge a mad reporter's flying size 10s -- and security didn't show up until 'ALL CLEAR' ??? What is wrong with this picture?

You know, I don't really appreciate my President having to get his Bruce Lee on just to survive abroad.

Quick reflexes though. That's gangsta.

What I'm Listening To...

All of these songs are in heavy rotation right now. Don't trip.

Chopped and Screwed – T-Pain ft. Ludacris
I thought I was sick of T-Pain too, but the Houston in me couldn’t resist this one. I’ve actually been deaf to anything featuring Ludacris for quite some time now, but I listened to his punch lines this time around.... I think... I can’t remember what he said after, “Luda!” ... The song still works.

Bust Your Windows – Jazmine Sullivan
Men don’t like this song, and I don’t care for what it represents, but it is JAMMIN and I am in mad love with it. I downloaded the instrumental and sang my a-s-s off to it with absolutely no shame. I bust the windows out the car/you know I did it cause I left my mark/wrote my initials with a crowbar/and then I drove off into the dark./ I bust the windows out your car/you should feel lucky that that’s all I diiiid….

Diva – Beyonce
Sasha at her best. Love it. My favorite song on the cd. (There will never be another video like "Single Ladies", though.)

Green Light – John Legend
It takes a lot for John Legend to get in my playlist. I appreciate his talent, but I'm not buying concert tickets for John Legend. I have to admit the sweet crooner hit the mark with this one though. Andre 3000 makes it almost perfect. I want to dance, kiss, eat, sing, everything, when I hear this song. I don’t even care if John is singing to Kanye or pining after Andre3000.

Anything – Devin the Dude
It’s not new, but it’s always in my rotation. Devin just grooves. He could sing-rap just about anything – and has. He keeps it so real: You aint the only one who got problems/you aint the only one who knows pain/get up off yo ass and solve them/you still got a chance to try to change

High Powered – Scarface
If I ever doubted that Scarface was, is, and will likely always be the King of the South, my doubts were erased with his last cd, MADE. His latest effort, Emeritus, puts the nail in the coffin of any other rapper claiming to be King of the South. I don’t understand why Face isn’t everywhere getting his very much due props. Ugly aint got nothing to do with this.

Live Your Life – T-Pain and Rihanna
The song just makes you want to do the damn thing. Period.

Betcha Can’t Do it - Lil O
What can I say? I like the beat. It sounds good. Hell, I bet he can’t do it either.

Shawty Say – David Banner ft. Lil Wayne
The beat. The hook. David Banner. I love this song from top to bottom. For some reason, I was hooked when Lil Wayne said “Shawty say the n___ aint sh___” in Lollipop. So, when I heard it repeated over and over again in this song, I was like YEAAAH! And, David Banner is on there sounding all kinda foolish too?! Rap song dream come true!

Heartless – Kanye West
One of 2 songs that I like on 808s and Heartbreak. Kanye is mad and it's working...for this song.

Never – Jaheim
This is such a beautiful song! Jaheim is the most slept on R&B singer out there. I wish he’d get on his grind and give us some more hits. His voice is so melodic. He makes perfection sound so effortless. Love him.

Spotlight – Jennifer Hudson
As you can tell, I love sangers. JHud don’t play. I don’t think she’s even capable of messing up a song. That voice, Lord, that Voice. I want a gospel CD from Ms. Hudson so bad. I can not find an opening to mention her suspect fiancée or ‘tarded sister. So well, there.

Long Distance – Brandy
Whaaaat? Brandy has never been on any playlist of mine, so the fact that I have to put her on here because I have Long Distance in constant rotation is baffling to me. What happened? Brandy was like, “Enough of this ish, Beyonce Knowles - Carter…married for real ass….I’mma sing this damn song!” Well ok Ms. Norwood. DO THAT. Bravo.

This Christmas – Donny Hathaway
My all time favorite Christmas song.

Mary Did You Know – Clay Aiken
This song is one of my favorite songs. It’s so soulful and deep. The words are completely awe inspiring. It's so big yet personal. A masterpiece.

Ordinary - Wayne Brady
Yes, that Wayne Brady. If you've been sleeping on Wayne Brady's music, it's time to wake up. Wayne Brady is no Eddie Murphy, trust me. If you love quality grown folks music, you'll be so pleasantly surprised by Mr. Brady.

Are You In Denial?

Is your life peaceful? Are you content? Happy? Living the life you want to live? If you aren't, why not? What are you scared of? What have you convinced yourself that you don't have - and don't need - in order to be happy?

I work 8-5 Monday through Friday, minus 2-3 hours per day for lunch :-). I grind for Corporate America, and my job pays fairly well, but I'm by no means a 6 figure n____. I can save for a house, save for a car, save for this and that, but I can't go to the dealership and plunk down the cash for that new Bentley. I wish I could, but I can't. I have huge, expensive tastes and because I can't easily afford the luxurious items that I want, I've spent many years claiming to MYSELF and others that I don't even want all of that. Big mistake.

By not admitting what I really wanted in life, I was also robbing myself of the motivation to get to a place where I could comfortably afford whatever I want. I was in denial to myself about wanting the $20K purses. The $1K jeans. The diamonds. I wanted all of that, but I, Smokie, fundamentally believe that such rich spoils go to rich people who work hard at what they love doing (or win the lottery). I believe that a person should be able to easily afford to outright buy luxury items and debt is not an option in my life. I despise undo stress.

So, that belief, coupled with admitting to myself that I actually want to have nice things, made me get off my lazy butt and get to hustling to be able to afford everything I want. I got on my real grind, and my first self-help book for black women is almost finished. Y'all are going to love it.

I was also in denial about wanting a husband. I had to admit to myself that I wanted to be the right man's WIFE. I wanted the label and all the good things that come with it. I had convinced myself that I didn't nessesarily need a man. I didn't actually need one to survive, but at a certain age my soul really did crave/need who I was supposed to be with. So, I had to admit that to myself FIRST — before I could go through the process of becoming available for a good man. I had to do some self analysis and even a little work. This is what getting out of denial does for you: If you stop fooling yourself about what you want and need, then all that's left to do is handle your business and finally get what you want - whatever it is. After the veil of denial is lifted, work follows. The only reason your life is not what you want it to be today is because you're in denial about some area of your life. What is that?

In denial about needing friends because you don't want to go through the work of being friendly? In denial about being happy with your weight because you don't want to go through the work of losing weight? In denial about needing a real man at home because you don't want to go through the work of being a real woman? In denial about wanting children because you're scared you won't do a good job? In denial about wanting to be a singer because you don't want to work hard at your dream? The list can go on and on. What denial is blocking your joy?

I want women to pop out of denial. Admit what you want. Admit who you are. Admit who you are not. Admit who you would like to be. Admit how you want to live. Admit what you are supposed to be doing with your life and what you are not supposed to be doing with it.

Come on ladies - let's analyze ourselves and get to work to fix whatever aint working right. It's time to get to that place of real joy and happiness, and the only way to get there is through truth and popping the bubble of denial.

Lesser of Two Evils

So today I ran across this forlorn picture of Gov. Rod Blagojevich's wife, Patty.



Then this:

An unflattering portrait depicting Illinois First Lady Patricia Blagojevich as a modern-day Lady Macbeth who plotted against her husband's perceived enemies and backed his corrupt schemes emerged in court documents connected to the governor's arrest Tuesday. Her alleged ambitions and brashness are outlined in a 76-page federal criminal complaint:

She helped her husband hatch a plan to sell President-elect Barack Obama's old U.S. Senate seat. She angled to trade her husband's power for lucrative spots on corporate boards.

And she unleashed an obscenity-filled tirade suggesting Tribune Co. ownership should "just fire" Chicago Tribune editorial writers if the company wanted the state to help it unload Wrigley Field to ease its crushing debt.

"Hold up that [expletive] Cubs [expletive]," she is quoted as saying in the background as her husband talked on the phone, authorities alleged. "[Expletive] them." Patricia Blagojevich, 43, has not been charged with wrongdoing. (more here)

Finally, a woman having a corrupt man's back who is NOT in trouble for messing around. I can't even be mad at Patty. This is a ride or die wife all day, 100%. Hands on hip, and probably a Miller Light and Virginia Slim's in the other, Patty got her gutter on in the background. What!

You can tell by the way Patty jumped to his defense that #1) he is putting it down where he needs to be (not JUST the bedroom either) and #2) they are superclose -- she fully knows the man she married, for good or bad. She's backing him and she clearly wasn't caught off guard when the news came out because she stay in the know in her man's life. AND - this is the key: She's not the butt of his deceit. SHE is benefiting off of his corruption. Together they were about to come up. He wasn't tricking off his ill gotten gain on hooker's, random men, or random women. Not saying it's a good thing, but see the title of the post.

If you must be a ride or die chick, wouldn't you want to be Patty? Or one of these shamed lonely wives...? Pick and choose ladies. Pick and choose for YOU.





Moral of the post: If you must have some one's back who's doing wrong, make sure YOU aren't the one being done wrong. If you must be with someone who's not living right, at the very least, make sure he treats you like a queen by his actions, and not just his words. You may be too scared to strive for it all in a man, but you can at least strive for the man who places you first and treats YOU right.

Note: I'm going to post once a day and somehow I'm going to tie a "moral of the post" to it. Don't ask why.

Review: Cadillac Records

Beyonce is a fabulous musical performer. I think she was born to sing. Act? Not so much.

Why start the Cadillac Records review with a review of Beyonce? Why not just review the movie? Because Beyonce is the only reason I rushed to see Cadillac Records last night. I like my black musical history as well as the next person, but I doubt that I would have made it my business to be at the movies if it didn’t star Beyonce Gisselle Knowles.

Bey comes in during the last 44 minutes of the film. She plays a foul-mouthed, yet pretty and downright Deena Jones-in-a-wig-ish looking Etta James. Hearing Beyonce cuss made me cringe and that’s when I knew she wasn’t supposed to be on stage acting. When an actor’s real persona shines through and beyond the character they are portraying, it’s a bust.

There were positives in Beyonce’s character, however. I thought it was kind of cool to watch her strutting around with Etta James’s cowboy gait, and she even made me raise my eyebrows once or twice during an exceptionally angry moment in the film—but for the most part I was just watching Beyonce play dress up. And I only enjoyed the drugged out intimate scenes because of the close ups of Bey and my sick fascination with her. :-)

Mrs. Carter gained a little weight for the movie but it just wasn’t enough. The physical transformation was too slight. Why couldn’t she have just went from:

This to This?


I watched Monster and completely forgot Charlize Theron was in it. If you are as pretty as either of these ladies, you really do need to make more of a physical change than just stomping around, Beyonce.



As for the rest of the characters, I thought Mos Def was very entertaining and I wanted him in every scene. He played a very good Chuck Berry and I really appreciated that kind of talent in the movie.

Jeffrey Wright played a fine Muddy Waters, but I wish he would have spoken up a little more. (Or, I might just be deaf. You tell me.)

Gabrielle Union was cool. Yes, her top lip built up a steady sweat as usual, but she played a convincing role as Muddy Waters’ woman.

Columbus Short played Little Walter and he was an interesting character. He definitely made the physical transformation and he almost pulled off the whole tragic character. I blame the Director for not telling Columbus to remove some of the “retarded” from his voice.

As far as the story line and truthfullness of the movie, it was all over the place and it could have been a lot better. But all in all, Cadillac Records was OK. I give it a C.

Keyshia Cole Singing National Anthem: WTF?

I do not understand this whole Black Exploitation look going on. Prostitute? Diahann Carroll in the 70s after good sex with James Earl Jones? Shaky rushed singing? Make me UNDERSTAND.

Is Frankie behind this???

All Things Beyonce

Beyonce in Cadillac Records

Peep the clip below. I wish - wish - WISH I could call it, but alas...I can't. I need more to guage the full dramaticalness of it all. (Of course that's not a word but it should be.) The singing is on point.



Beyonce - Roc (ode to Jay)



Oh for real, Bey? I love Bey, but this new found openness is a bit startling and I just want it to stop. I liked not knowing all the business. Is she being so out with it because she just loves his dirty, expensive drawers? Or is it because she wants to sell as much I Am...Sasha Fierce as possible. Whatever the reason, put the breaks on, Bey. Mystery becomes you. (Love the song though!)

Be Easy, Ladies

I wanted to add a comment to this post, but no new comments are allowed…so *bright idea!* -- I’ll just create a post in my own blog. It’s a pretty interesting topic.

Guest poster, cjames laments about black women and ends the post with:

So let me help you out ladies. Do you know what men want? We want truth in advertising. Do you want to know why hoochie chicks get a lot of attention? It’s not because we get to preview the goods, it’s more that we respect that they are letting us know up front what they are about.

Immediately the commenters jump on him, defensively reprimanding the man for using generalities (all, every, etc.) in his ponderings about women.

What's up, ladies? Can’t a brotha speak his mind without all that? Intelligent discussion is fine and even encouraged but why do we have to take over the conversation, twist it, get defensive about it, and don’t even address the man’s concerns? I mean, why are we lying like a lot of women don’t pass up good men for losers? Why are we pretending like some women don't put up fronts, deceive, and use men? Sure, men play a part, but what is so wrong with addressing the man's concerns without attacking him? You can get your point across later.

Why do we get so defensive when black men share their frustrations about dating us? Why don’t we WOMAN UP and search for solutions instead of deepening the trench between us?

The black man needs his turn to vent, too. And we owe a reasonable response to the brothas who care enough to share. Just like we have valid complaints about men — whatever those complaints are and there are many—and we expect them to listen to us and respond positively to our frustrations, they want the same thing in return. In fact, quiet as it’s kept, the male needs that attention even more than we do. They're physically strong, but emotionally weak. We are typically just the opposite.

So ladies, give the fellas a break. Stroke their egos. Help the flawed and frustrated good man find peace. Listen to his gripes. Stop being so hard on the good ones and so easy on the bad ones. Acknowledge your wrong in this great divide because you do bear some blame. Soften up. Laugh more. Forgive more. Pick the right ones more. Be the right one more.

Election Night STUFF

Q Deezy of Big Boy’s Neighborhood at Will and Jada's crib for the Election Party.

The World is Behind Obama

World Leaders Hail Obama Triumph

American's Reactions in Pictures

Slide Show of Obama Headlines


Obama's Victory Speech

Random Thoughts About the Election

We better get our acts together. Obama is doing his part. We need to step up.

I'm still in some shock.

Who cares about Michelle's dress? She's fine in ev-er-y thing.

Thank you God for giving me a reason to almost like my husband Barry's name.

It was Obama's African wisdom that kept him so cool and told him exactly how to handle each situation. To think, I almost attributed this to his white side. No, he's an African King...

Did Obama and Michelle have the best sex ever last night?

Everything Obama does is fast and efficient. He came on the scene in a whirlwind - came from behind and whipped McCain hard and swift with 338 + electoral votes - became the first Black President of the United States. It gets absolutely no higher than this. He's above Oprah.

McCain went from in-the-news-every day to complete insignificance in under 2 hours.

This election proves one thing: you DO have to be better and smarter to succeed as a black man.

As much as I love them, the rappers don't seem quite as great as Obama.

Can you believe the United States of America chose an African American family man named Barack HUSSEIN Obama? Yes, we can say his whole name with pride now. HUSSEIN HUSSEIN HUSSEIN.

For the first time in my life, I wish I was going to a black owned establishment tomorrow.

It almost seems sinful not to hang up Obama stuff in the office.

I just knew that if Black women could put Tyler Perry at the #1 spot in the box office, black women and every other reasonable minded American could vote Obama into office.

Imagine what the slaves must be thinking now.

Finally! We've done something MLK can be proud of.

What does this mean? What does this mean? Will racism really drop? HAS racism really dropped? Will Obama be in the top 3 best president's list? Will all Michelle's relatives stop by the White House on a regular basis? Will the media continue to cover Barrack like he's a movie star? Will Obama stay strong in the face of many temptations? Will he help Black people? South Africans?

Am I dreaming?

Waiting to Exhale

We're only 24 hours from the possible first African American president.

I think about the magnitude of "what if?" and and my eyes well up. I start humming, "Never would have maaade it", but then I stop myself. I can't give into the fullness of the emotion that simmers right above an emotion that I've never felt before. I can't define this emotion because I won't let myself go there just yet — but, whatever this is, it's directly related to the fact that we may possibly see history with the first Black President of these great United States of America.

So this what white people feel like when they think of their country and their American President?

So, I'm overwhelmed with pre-emotion. I fully expect to wail, play Marvin Sapp's song, drop to my knees praising God, and otherwise just act a natural black thankful fool. I haven't anticipated "tomorrow" this much since I still believed in Santa Claus.

We are thisclose to break dancing with happiness. Thisclose to weeping tears of joy and FINALLY! thisclose to feeling as much pride as one can feel in someone not their parent, self, or child. Oh yeah, we are about to be some happy, whistling, chest poked out folk for a minute. Hopefully, after we get through poppin bottles, we can get our own -ish together.

But, first, I just want to exhale. I'm ready to KNOW it's going to be....

Obama/Biden '08

Married Life

Well, I just thought I'd update you (and me) on married life. It's great. Didn't know it would be this easy and fulfilling. Wow. There was life pre-married Smokie and life post-married Smokie. Pre was fun as hell and Post is fun and secure as hell.

Ladies, I don't like to brag - really, I don't, but since this is my blog...

I love my man. There is nothing like spending your life with a kind, understanding, thoughtful, God-fearing, sexy, strong, easy-going, smart (just when I think I'm smarter, he beats me in some trivia game or he's right when I just knew I was right - this happens close to ALWAYS), handsome, employed, GOOD black man. I'm loved, so very loved, and I definitely reciprocate the feeling.

Everything happens at the right time. I had no earthly idea that I'd meet the wonderful Bama *can't have it all* who came into my life only a year and a half ago. I always said I'd meet the One at the right time, but when I hit 34, I started to wonder. I didn't panic, but I did ask God, "What's up...?"

Was I too picky? Nah, of course not. I just knew that I needed a man who I could get along with 95% of the time. I was strong, soft, and secure in who I was. I was realistic about what I bought to the table. I didn't ask for a millionaire, or Prince Charming, but I knew I didn't want to spend my life in silence with some crazy man, or in resentment with some lazy man.

I knew I wanted a kind man who would cherish me and WORK. I knew we had to have the same morals and values to make a marriage thrive. I knew we had to be on the same page spiritually and mentally. I knew I wanted someone who I found attractive and strong. I knew I wanted to laugh with my man. I knew I wanted someone who I could totally be my goofy, ghetto, nerdy, opionated, sensitive self with. So I waited, and dated, and finally - thank you JESUS - I mated.


I love you, Bear.

If I Were White

Before I start, I want you to know that, yes, I know Beyonce has 2 new songs, and 2 new videos. On a scale of one to ten, I give a 7 average for both songs. I love Bey, I'm a big fan, but there is still a song that I haven't heard - and want to hear - from Bey. I don't know what it is, but when I hear it, I'll let you know. "Single Ladies" is catchy and I can sing it to ex-boyfriends in my mind, but it's not good enough. The video is engaging though. Same analysis for "If I Were a Boy". That one might be a pop hit.

NOW. Since I've spoken on some kind of gossip... on to business. It's real hard to click on the gossip sites right now. There are way too many news sites and I am addicted to the political climate.

*************************




After seeing all of the racist and igNUT rants targeted at Barack, I had to really stop and evaluate who I am and how I would feel if I were a white person.

I criticize all races. I don't believe that "color doesn't matter", and I have always believed, in theory, that people are free to be as prejudiced as they want to be. I've never taken offense at the thought of racism. On the other hand, I have a hard time actually hearing and seeing blatant racism.

I live in the inner city of Houston, Texas, the 4th largest city in America. Yes, there are horses, but I've never ridden one and neither have most people I know. I'm a city girl and for the most part I've never been around out-and-out vocal racists.

I have been called a nigga twice in my life. The first time: in the 4th grade after I called a white boy a honkie, and the second time: in Kentucky by a group of wild white men. Me, my mother, and an all male cast from a play she'd written had to stay in a motel in Kentucky overnight during the play's tour. When I left the room to get some ice, I was almost ambushed by drunken white men who chased me to our room while screaming racial slurs.

Luckily the guys were far away when the spotted me -- and I was back in that motel room before the men could reach me. I'm too cautious to get caught up if I can get just a second moment's notice.

Before we left the city, we were told "go back home, niggas" one last time. So I know racist white people exist. And, as long as they kept their hands to themselves, I thought that I really didn't care about racism.

I even wondered if I'd be a racist if I were white. Would I vote for Obama if I were white? Or, would I be scared of "the blacks" taking over everything? Would I be scared of losing my white supremacy? Would I be so greedy that I wouldn't want America to have a Black president? Would I be too suspicious of his last name and heritage? Would I think he were a Muslim? Would I be frightened that the first black president of America might outshine all of the previous white ones combined (sans Kennedy)? Would I be able to BaROCK the vote?

I might feel all of these things. I might be scared. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd vote for Barack. I know that I'd see the difference between him and McCain and I'd be smart enough and thoughtful enough to roll with Barack. It's not about race. It's really not because if, right now, John F. Kennedy Jr. were running against Jesse Jackson or Larry Elder or Al Sharpton... I know John would get my vote. I'd choose the young, fresh, thoughtful, analytical, even-tempered, handsome white guy.




I'm not worried about white people pulling a fast one on us and sending McCain to the White House. I honesty don't think white people are that dumb. I don't think progressive white people are that dumb.

And we better be ready for it all. Barack's campaign is sending the worst of the worst the forefront. If this Black man (at this point his racial make up is more than a little moot) is sworn into the Presidential office, some black men in America will be killed. Blacks who have never been called a nigga will probably hear it in their direction for the first time. There will be a back lash, unfortunately. But there will be so much good to counteract the bad.

This time in America will be a deep exposing, and subsesqent scrubbing, of all of the unspoken, vile grime of racism in America. We won't be able to wipe it all way, but a Black president, on front street will put us on a much more level playing field. Unless you are a white person deep in the hills with no contact with the outside world, you will get to know black folks while you are observing President Obama. He has the intelligence, the cool, decency, family values, and the standard big-booty-but-not-so-pretty black wife by his side. He's a black, black man.


If white folks liked hip hop, they're gonna LOVE this. And if they don't, we damn sure will.

I Don’t Like that B-tch

VP Debate on SNL

I love women as a whole. I’m even working on a book for women; but, I can’t stand that Sarah Palin. I tried to like Sarah. I tried to feel some kind of connection to her based on her being a hard working woman with goals if nothing else. Of course, she and McCain wouldn’t get my vote, but I wanted to be able to say, “I don’t agree with your policies, but you Go Girl!”

Never mind.

Sarah Palin is an embarrassment to strong, intelligent women everywhere.

She winked in the Vice Presidential debate. Can we all agree that a presidential debate is that one place where winking and blowing kisses is not appropriate? We can wear jeans in church now, but I don’t think it will ever be appropriate to damn near flash your tits and hoola hoop in a VP debate.

She’s cold and hides her emotions even better than Hillary. Come on, we knew when Hillary was mad. That jaw would tighten and she’d get that fake Joker smile. But we could always see the big “Fuck You” in Hillary’s mind. Not Sarah. Every situation gets a smile, wink, or “betcha”.

I can’t trust that that kid is really hers. And if he is, why does she hold him like she’s his grandmother? Where are her priorities? If she really did have Trig, why did she fly around the country after her water broke? Exactly how much Down’s Syndrome did the b-tch want the baby to have??? (bless my soul)

According to the National Enquirer, Gov. Palin may have also had an affair. Hey, they were right about John Edwards. Not that I hold everyone to this supreme moral code, but Palin has a lot of questionable things going on in her life: a pregnant teenager who may have been on drugs and alcohol (and a slut); a Troopergate investigation underway that she doesn’t want to cooperate with; a habit of batting her eyes and winking in interviews, etc.

Sarah Palin seems wild, untrustworthy, unstable, and dangerous to “the American people”. (Say it in her voice.) This is the kind of bitch who’d get in office and find a way to bring slavery back. She'd find a way to support it with scripture too. I know it’s far-fetched, but if she could, she would.

I don’t know if that’s her kid or not. Yes. It needed to be mentioned twice. If Sarah is lying about this she is CRAZY. Her don’t-look-pregnant-no-more-daughter, Bristol, always looks like she’s on the verge of exploding and revealing all the family secrets in a blaze of red neck cuss words anyway, so it shouldn’t be long until we find out the real.

Now, Sarah is focusing on tearing Barack down. Her first smear attack is connecting him to Ayers, a business associate and I suspect, a friend, who committed terrorist acts when Obama was 8 years old. To be honest, Obama’s age during Ayers’ terrorist years doesn’t soothe my mind from wondering about their current ties. But, really, who cares about that. The man is trying to get the country on track -- Obama ’08. Sarah Palin is the devil.



Obama calls attacks on him 'out of touch'

Obama fires back at McCain ads.

McCain and Keating 5

Pushing back against what it calls McCain's "guilt-by-association" tactics, the Obama campaign is e-mailing millions of supporters a link to a website, KeatingEconomics.com, which will have a 13-minute documentary on the scandal beginning at noon Eastern time on Monday. The overnight e-mails urge recipients to pass the link on to friends.

Read about it. Betcha didn't know...

Charges Fit, Did Not Acquit

It’s a sad day in the Simpson household. After 13 years of freedom, OJ Simpson was found guilty on all 12 counts in his armed robbery and kidnapping case.

He was convicted of an armed robbery that happened on Sept. 13 and was found guilty on the 13th anniversary of his Los Angeles murder acquittal. The Las Vegas jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial.

And then, as only the sobs of Simpson's sister broke the silence late Friday, the lights went out.Court marshals flipped on flashlights and shouted for everyone to stay seated. Only the judge knew what had happened. It was 11 p.m. and the courthouse lights had shut down automatically.

"Timed out," Judge Jackie Glass said in a fitting epitaph for the story of O.J. Simpson, which has long haunted America.

Poor OJ. Well, at least he had 13 years o’ fun. Payback is a mother huh?

I’ve always said that you can tell what kind of person you’re dealing with by their answer to the question, Did OJ do it? Yes = thinking person with good judement. No = In denial or a little bit dumb. He didn't do it, but he knows who did = Don’t like to take chances and cover their asses at all costs. Dumb too.

Timeline of OJ Simpson’s Vegas Misadventure

OJ Simpson faces life behind bars because jury was 'on payback mission for Nicole Brown murders'

Basically, OJ Simpson, 61, might spend the rest of his life behind bars behind a six-minute scuffle with two sports memorabilia dealers last year at a Los Vegas casino hotel.

Damn. Life sucks, don’t it OJ? Sentencing will begin Dec. 5.

Tina Fey as Gov. Palin on SNL, part 2

Sarah Palin: Catie, I’d like to use one of my lifelines.

Catie Couric: I’m sorry?

Sarah: I want to phone a friend.

Catie: You don’t have any lifelines.

Sarah: Well, in that case, I’m just gonna have to get back to ya!

Hilarious. And I don't expect Sarah will be much different on Thursday night.

Palin answers questions during cheesesteak run. LOL

Times Magazine asks "Where is Sarah Palin". Nice links in the article.

It's 2008

Not 1999. Not 2000, but '08, almost '09.
Hilliary didn’t realize it.
McCain is clueless.
Sarah doesn’t give a damn.
Obama’s already in the middle of 2010, 3:00 am.



Does the McCain campaign not know that it’s 2008 and everyone finds out everything? You can’t have a redneck, trigger happy, pro-life, wild-eyed, power welding, PTA grandma in the White House. Period. Why didn’t McCain vet his VP? I’m glad he didn’t, but damn. Dementia?

I’m sorry for the Republican party for being so far behind the technology curve.

Read this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

People are scrutinizing public figures to the nth degree now, and rightly so. Now's not the time to be a corrupt Politician. I say, get into drugs or the mob. A criminal is a criminal.



Obama ‘08

P.S. Random thoughts on McCain's speech tonight:

Is he dead?
McCain done died?
Cindy looking dumber than a ...
Mama must have been resurrected for this too.
Mama doesn't know where she is.
Has no plan.
War stories were touching.
Holding the podium like a walker.
He wants change? What? He took our theme? Really?
Cindy know she wrong. Could do better. He pulled that? She the one with the money. WTF?
Convinced he's dead. They pulled the "dead Pope trick". I see the rod in his back.

RNC ...zzzz...WTF?!....

So the RNC finally got somewhat entertaining. I'll be honest, the first couple days I tried to watch it, but I did not succeed. I gave it 10 seconds and if I felt compelled to hit the "Guide" button, I moved around. zzzzzz for REAL.

Now, today things changed up. Rudy Giuliani and his bad grill (what's up with politicians not going to the dentist?!?) tried to "rip in to Obama". I put it in quotes because it's bull. Some sites said he ripped into Obama, but what I saw on my screen was a politician whose campaign lost steam before it even left the tracks, trying to down a man who secured 18 million votes. His delivery was weak and he stuck to pitiful jabs like:

Maybe Gov Palin's home town is not .... cosmopolitan enough for Senator Obama

On the other hand, you have a resume from a gifted man with an Ivy League education. He worked as a community organizer. What? He worked -- I said -- I said, OK, OK, maybe this is the first problem on the resume.

He worked as a community organizer. He immersed himself in Chicago machine politics.

Not a personal attack, a statement of fact. Barack Obama has never led anything, nothing, nada.

And -- and he'll do it with an all-of-the-above approach, including nuclear power, and, yes, off-shore oil drilling.
(APPLAUSE)
Drill, baby, drill?
(APPLAUSE)
Drill, baby, drill.

And so on ...

Rudy was long on corny one liners and very short on substance. I wasn't impressed. It seems like the Republican plan is to simply bash Obama and the media.

What I also noticed was that he, like all the other senior citizens who spoke, didn't mention Bush. Ever. Is he the Satan of the GOP or what?!


Mrs. Sarah Palin

Well, well, well. Isn't she a little...nothing. I expected to be accidentally knocked off my socks by this Alaskan babe. I thought she might surprise and deliver a speech for the books. I thought she'd give Obama a run for his money. Boy, was I wrong. Obama will eat her up and politely spit her out.

This school marm threw out little zingers at Obama every chance she got, but her digs rang as shrill and weird as her funny looking faces and odd voice. She scared me.

What accent was that? Why was she making those faces? Is McCain trying to lose? Was her daughter going for the Pam Anderson pregnant look? Why was the boyfriend looking like "save me" and chewing gum (snuff??), why was he on stage like he was somebody's son-IN-LAW, and Lord, why did the little girl lick her hand and rub it on the comatose baby's head? You can't beat that kind of redneck footage!

Sarah Palin did two things tonight:

1 -She sealed her spot in the Republicans hearts who know what's up and DON'T GIVE A DAMN. Those people will vote Republican if Charlie Sheen was on the ticket. Yes she sounded like the chair of the PTA, but that is 100% irrelevant to the die hard Republican.

2- She gave the Republicans who care about the economy, healthcare, and their kids a reason to pause. Oh yeah, they are thinking long and hard about this woman. Hopefully, she'll put her foot real good and deep in her mouth in the coming months. After tonight's speech, I don't see how that can be avoided. What comes across as "feisty and fearless" in Alaska will look like "bull-headed bitch" in the big United States of America.

This woman is no pit bull, more like a Boston Terrier. Bring it on, Scary Lady. Obama '08.

DNC vs. RNC

DNC Musical Acts. Check.
RNC No Musical Acts. Minus.

DNC Michelle's Speech. Check.
RNC Laura and Cindy's Speeches. Minus.

DNC actually having a convention under sunny skies, with 84K attendees. Check.
RNC having "pared down" convention, with the threat of a hurricane and 41 attendees (may as well be). Minus.

Obama choosing Biden after careful vetting. Check.
McCain choosing Sarah after a tossing a coin. Minus. Minus. Minus.

Obama 08 by a landslide. CHECK.

Gustav...Yawn

Good news for New Orleans: The leeves held up and your city is intact. Yea.

Bad news for Houston: We didn't even get a sprinkle. Not a tear drop of rain. I have to go to work in the morning.

Ike...can you come by here....please. With a name like IKE, I know you're going to be a beast.

Sarah Palin's Daughter Not Practicing Abstinence

Despite Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's stance on abstinence, her daughter, Bristol, still managed to get pregnant at age 17. And then, no one really knows for sure if Sarah's latest baby, Trig (wtf?), is actually Sarah's grandson. The Internet is buzzing that Trig is also the child of Sarah's teenaged daughter, Bristol. Not to mention, her own mother-in-law isn't sold on her VP credientials or capabilities:

Faye Palin said the entire family was shocked by the news on Friday. "I'm not sure what she brings to the ticket other than she's a woman and a conservative. Well, she's a better speaker than McCain," Faye Palin said with a laugh. "People will say she hasn't been on the national scene long enough. But I believe she's a quick study." More here

Let's be real. There's a very good chance that Need-A-Cane McCain might die anytime between right now and 4 years from now. I don't want Sarah Palin to step in as President. And, I'm not too convinced she can even give a good speech after watching her frenzied talk the other day. Sarah Palin has way too much going on to run for Vice President right now. She reminds me of a small town principal on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Let's give this woman some Bath & Body Works and let her take a long vacation and relax.

I'm all for Bristol having her baby (or aborting it if she so chooses), but I have a few questions for her mother:

1. Do you still think Abstinence-only is the best method to cut down on unwanted teen pregnancies?

2. With grandmother hood looming, and 5 kids of your own -- one of whom has Down's Syndrome -- don't you think you have too much on your plate to lead the country?

3. How does your husband feel about this? Is he mad at all the extra work he'll have to do?

4. Does Bristol's boyfriend want to marry her?

5. Does Bristol want to marry her boyfriend?

6. Does Bristol want to have this baby?

7. Did you give birth to Trig? Did Bristol?

8. Are you ever going to snatch off your eye glasses and take the pin out of your hair and transform into Super Beauty Queen White Woman?

Halle Berry Introduces Daughter -- and RING

If I knew I could have one of these, I'd try tomorrow. Hands down, baby Nahla gets the Cutest Baby Award!

More pics at BrownSista.

Story/source

Obama: the Ali of Politics

WOW. Click here to read speech.

Strategy. Strategy. Strategy. For a minute I was worried that Obama was too smart for his own good. I was concerned that, somehow, his strategic mind might not be able to strategize beyond his clever delegate numbers game. But then, I thought, prayed, and logically concluded that a man who's smart enough to get this far, this soon, this grand, knows how to win an election.

Obama did not disappoint! Now we'll see how the astute, socially conscious, upstanding, educated big, BLACK boys play the game to win.

A quick, hard fight is the only way that a Black man can beat a white man in a presidential election. Too much McCain bashing, too soon, would have only hurt Obama in the end. Knowing white people as he does, he knew that he had to come in articulate, friendly, and under the radar as much as possible. If that's not tricky enough, he also had to make ignut black folks understand that he's "for us" — while also making white folks think he's not. Difficult balancing act indeed.

Obama's judgement is definitely on point. If you want to make the most impact in a presidential election, what better way to do it than to hold your big guns until the masses get to know you better and on the anniversary of MLK's "I Have Dream" speech...? What better time to make your mark in American history and hearts? What better time to show everyone how strong you really are?

Obama came out tonight like Ali. He'd held back his blows for months, and then in a flurry, he clearly showed us that he knows what the fk he's doing. Timing is everything.

I wasn't around to hear Martin speak, but I did get to hear Michelle's Boo make magic with these words:

What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you.

That, right there, was real talk whether it was real for him or not. For all of us Obamaholics who think he "walks on water" (?), the passion for Obama really has been about what he represents as opposed to what McCain represents. As cheesy as it sounds, we've really been riled up because of the hope and change that Obama symbolizes. Sure he's sexy as hell, but we aren't really "idolizing" him because of the cool. The cool is a factor, but the real aphrodesiac is his ability to make others want to change for the better. And we are loving the strategic way he's winning this campaign. Whew!

This has been on my mind so I'm going to get it out. If you think Obama isn't "really black" or that his bi-racial status negates any of his blackness, you're wrong. The facts are that he has two black daughters and a black wife and his daddy was an African tribesman. In my estimation, 1 African Daddy equals 4 regular black daddies. So really, Barack is 80% Black and 20% white. LOL

Obama 08.